UNIVERSITY -

the Gateway

oF :- ALBERTA

he Official Students' Newspaper Since 1910 ¢ Readership 30,000 ¢ Volume 81 #¢ Number 11 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991

Higher fees, better loans proposed

by Karen Unland

Students at the University of Alberta may see their tuition double and professors may see their teaching methods more carefully scrutinized if the recommendations from the latest inquiry into univer- sity education are adopted.

The report of the Commission of Inquiry on Canadian University Education, which was done by Stuart L. Smith at the request of the Association of Universities and Colleges of Canada, was released on Wednesday. It contains 63 rec- ommendations on whatuniversities will have to do to continue to thrive into the next century.

Among the commission's recom- mendations on funding is a call for student tuition fees to cover 25 per cent of the University’s operating budget. This increase, however, depends on the implementation of an income-contingent repayment loan system whereby students would repay their student loans as a surtax on their income tax once they finish school and start to earn money.

SU vp external Randy Boissonnault said that the 25 per cent student contribution, which would effectively double tuition fees, is acceptable as long as it is accompanied by the proposed loan repayment program.

“We do not havea problem with tuition increases... as long as the student loan system is accessible.

The new loan repayment plan is linked to the report's desire to im- prove accessibility for low income groups. Smithsays thatless affluent students coming out of high school are dissuaded from university edu- cation because of they cannot af- ford the lost wages, cost of living, and tuition fees that a university education results in. He recom-

mends therefore a more accessible _

studentloan programand outreach efforts to convince qualified stu- dents that they can afford to go to university.

Dumouchel said that the loan re- paymentscheme is similar to onein Australia which the SU has been investigating.

The Graduate Students’ Asso- ciation are cautiously supportive of the recommended student loan plan.

“I’m generally supportive of having money returned on a pro- gressive basis, considering what people are able to afford to pay back.... We’re quite concerned about the implementation part of that,” said GSA president Ken Ross. “Are you going to end up accumulating debtload and interest charges while you are unable to pay for it, so that when you are able to pay for it, you actually get hammered so that you are thrown back into poverty?”

The GSA is also concerned that the provincial government will choose which recommendations to implement, and will decide to in- crease student contributions to 25 per cent without adopting the in- come-contingent repayment loan program.

“I have no difficulty imagining that the Alberta government will see that 25 percentand immediately up their legislative target, because the universities are obviously in support of this— it came out of their own document,” said GSA vp academic Michael Hamilton.

The report also recommends an increase in government contribu- tions to Canadian universities, to bring the level of education fund- ing to that provided to state univer- sities in the United States.

SU president Marc Dumouchel said that comparing Canadian funding levels to those in the U.S.

Inside:

Atomic TRIUMF p.3 More Yi, more Rat p.6-7

_“dispels the myth that we're better

Spirit interview p.11 |

Premier NHL picks |

p.19-21

No paper Tuesday. Happy Th

: "Well I've been runnin’ down the road a tain’ to loosen my load, | ve got seven women on my mind.

Four that wanna hold me, two that want to stone me, One says she's a friend of mine.* — G. Paul Skelhorne via the Eagles

Rachel Sanders

Second-year Education student Leanne braves the needle and gives forth the stuff of life at the Red Cross's mobile blood donor clinic in CAB on Wednesday.

funded than state colleges and uni- versities.”

Boissonnault agreed that the American comparison is essential for the University to present its case to the provincial government.

“It legitimizes the position that the SU has always taken that recent underfunding has been harmful to our post-secondary system... and comparing us to another country’s system show us where we stand.”

Another focus of the Smith

Commissionis teaching. The report

recommends that professors havea minimum number of teaching hours per week and that all senior profes-

sors take on some first and second year undergraduate courses. Smith also recommends that faculty members be allowed to decide whether they are to be evaluated primarily on their research or their teaching.

GSA vp academic Michael Hamilton said that Smith seems to distinguish artificially between teaching and research.

“The difficulty I have is that he seems to see teaching and research as relatively independent activi- ties.... As far as science goes, it’s assumed that if you don’t do re- search in the subject you aren’t

qualified to teach it.”

Ross said that there is a percep- tion that there is too much research and not enough teaching going on atuniversities, and thatif the report is misinterpreted it could hurt the research status of large institutions like the U of A.

The report also calls for greater accountability of instructors by re- quiring universal student evalua- tions of teaching. SU vp academic Ian McCormack said that this is an important recommendation.

“That’s precisely what we’ve

See SMITH p.2

CJSR seeks debt pay scheme

Campus radio station and SU to talk business

by Warren Ferguson

The financial future of campus radio station CJSR is now being debated by Students’ Union and radio station officials. The station owes the SU almost $65 000, and a repayment scheme is in the works.

The debt was accumulated as a result of two consecutive pay-outs by the SU to cover revenue short- falls experienced by thestationsince 1989. Thestation is also projected to operate in the red during this fiscal year.

The station will have to look at _ developing a strategy to reduce the debt and _ to balance its budget, according to SU vp finance and ad- ministration Alex Ross. In his Oc- tober 8 report to Students’ Council, Ross suggested that the station should secure a bank loan for the projected deficit, or boost contribu- tions from the Friends of CJSR, the station’s prime fund-raising sup- port group.

“We have no right to tell them nottoruna deficit, but we also have

no obligation to run that debt. We would be willing to say ‘operate as you like’, as long as the Friends of CJSR guarantee to cover any defi- cit,” said Ross.

University students now con- tribute $2.50 each per year to the station’s budget since a 1989 refer- endum, when students voted for the fee increase.

Station manager Jay Spark said that the station is looking toarrange a payment scheme with the Stu- dents’ Union.

“We are hoping to be able to ne- gotiate some kind of pay-out with the SU. They might be willing to accept this if the debt doesn’t in- crease,” he said.

Spark attributes the station’s woes to several years of poor ad- vertising revenues, but said that a new budget planning process is changing the picture.

“We have boosted the revenue significantly, mostly through the Friends, and through increased ad- vertising.”

Ross agrees that organizational changes in the station have in- creased its revenues and profile in the surrounding communities. He cited the efforts of K-97 and K-Lite to come on campus as evidence of CJSR’s success in the community.

“I think it would be nice if the station broke even. They havecome a long way since their deficit two years ago. It has gotten extremely close with a lot of work,” said Ross.

The Students’ Union is now do- ing a market survey to determine thestation’saudience. TheSU wants to know how many listeners are from within the student popula- tion, as compared to the surround- ing community. According to Ross, this will help the SU determine if they are helping to fund a student service, or a private business.

The issue of the debt repayment will likely go to Students’ Council October 22, before going to the University Administration Board for consideration.

Page 2 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Edmonton

car-free?

Tri-city study explores life without cars

by Gargi Singh

Try to imagine your life without a car. Try to imagine Edmonton without cars. Try to imagine rush hour traffic without cars! That is what the Canadian Urban Institute as wellasacademics and politicians from three Canadian cities are at- tempting to do.

Cheryl Stein, administrative professional officer for the Envi- ronmental Research and Studies Centre at the University of Alberta, is one of the participants in this exploration into what cities willlook like in 30 years without cars.

According to Stein, the institute wanted to include large, medium and small-sized cities to study the effect that the proposals would have on different urban centres, thus Toronto, Edmonton = and Sherbrooke were chosen. In each city there will be two groups studying the proposals. A group of municipal council members and a group of academics will assemble in each city and eventually the groups will come together to report on their findings.

Stein cited “the global warming and global change question” as one of the most important reasons that the study is being undertaken. The Canadian Urban Institute’s own report states that cuts of 60 per cent in world-wide carbon dioxide emissions are required to prevent further global warming— which means more than 90 per centreduc-

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tion per capita in industrialized countries such as Canada.

The report will look at alterna- tives to cars and will try to assess the impact of a carless city in soci- ety. Stein pointed out that the report is “not only a science project on the temperature of the environment changes, but also what the behavioural effects will be on people.”

But already the academics at the U of A are finding problems with the concept of cities without cars and with the proposals to be stud- ied.

Stein asked “why aren’t they looking at a reduction of cars? Is it really realistic that everybody would give up their car?” In addi- tion, the transport of the handi- capped and the replacement of the thriving courier industry must be addressed.

Another question which has not been addressed is the place of gas companies and car companies in such a scheme.

Stein admits that the proposals are not all that plausible in practical terms, but she maintains that “It’s a really good exercise to look into the future, where we will have to im- pose restrictions on cars eventu- ally.”

The first reports are expected to come outin May and the final results will be presented at three interna- tional conferences in 1993.

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Davenport reacts to smith recommendations

by Karen Unland

President Paul Davenport says that the Smith Commission on Ca- nadian University Education is for the most part a helpful document, even though the University of Alberta policy already covers some of the recommendations.

Davenport said ina press release that although there are some rec- ommendations which the U of A will not adopt, the Commission’s views on funding are particularly useful.

He said that the U of A will not implementrecommendation59, for example, which defines tenure to allow for dismissal when depart- ments are downsized or closed.

Davenport was also pleased that the report cited the U of A several times, praising everything from the quality of the Faculty of Education and the Faculté Saint-Jean to the University’s library strategic plan.

Some of the other recommenda-

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tions in the report:

*Interdisciplinary programs should be encouraged.

eA study should be made into the problem of obsolete equipment.

¢Federal government agencies should fund a greater internation- alization of universities.

¢Continuing education and dis- tance education should be ex- panded.

*Education faculties should do research into higher education.

¢The federal government should continue funding initiatives for higher education for native stu- dents.

¢The high school science and mathematics curriculum should be replaced by courses. such as “The Technology of Everyday Life,” in view of making science more at- tractive to women.

Academic careers should be more accessible to women.

¢Francophone university educa-

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There should be a central reg- ister of all university students in Canada in order to determine at- trition rates.

SMITH from p.1

been pushing fora fair while.... Their peers as well as their students will be seeing what the results of their teaching are and that makes them accountable to the entire public.”

McCormack said that the teacher evaluations could have an effect on tenure.

“Teaching, which is sometimes ignored when salaries and promo- tions come up, you'd havea univer- sal benchmark for everybody to go by. That's very helpful for students, for the faculty here because they can see how they’re doing vis-a-vis their peers, and it’s also useful for the public because they can see the level of education the University’s providing to their kids and to the province.”

The U of A presently has teaching evaluations in all its departments except Agriculture/Forestry and Home Economics.

The GSA is also in favour of stu- dent evaluations of instructors.

“As undergraduates we say, ‘Why can’t we evaluate the teach- ers,’ so I don’t think it’s incredible for us to say as we start to become teachers, ‘Now let’s join the rest of the pack and say we don’t want to be evaluated.”

The report says that university education in Canada is “funda- mentally healthy.” The SU and the GSA say that if this is so, it will not be so for much longer without funding.

“The University of Alberta is still a great place tolive, learnand grow, but we are consistently losing that edge that we used to have on other institutions,” said Boissonnault.

“We're at least in crisis or im- pending crisis,” said Ross. “I don’t think there’s an awful lot of room for complacency.”

as ai Bl a a a a ee a

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 3

Atom-smasher goes ahead, despite objections

TRIUMF -KAON PROJEC.

oo ¢ ; science that will change the world!

Artist's rendition of the TRIUMF-KAONproject, a joint venture between the U of A and UBC.

The atom-smashing cylotron has just received $236 million in government funding.

a ~ Not j just preparing financial nation: tants and co mputers do. CMAs use financial in there’s a career’s worth of difference. — The CMA program is a win-winner. It enables you to work full time while you develop your skills in advanced management accounting and

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by Jason Cobb

Despite some opposition from research advisory councils, the federal government has recently agreed to commit $236 million to the expansion of the TRIUMF (Tri- University Meson Facility) in Vancouver, to include a KAON “factory”.

The KAON factory is an ex- panded cyclotron atom-smasher, that accelerates proton beams to 99.8 per cent the speed of light, hitting a solid target and producing particles. This expanded cyclotron would be 60 times as powerful as the present TRIUMF accelerator at the University of British Columbia, and would createan unprecedented number of KAONs (Kaons, Anti- protons, other Kadrons and Neu- trinos), which last for only billionths of a second.

The $236 million federal contri- bution to the project is roughly one- third of the estimated $700 million required for expansion of the present cyclotron. The B.C. gov- ernment has promised an equal amount, while the U.S. has a “ver- bal agreement” to chip in $100 million. Therestis expected to come from other foreign investors, such as Japan and Europe.

Despite its outstanding scientific value, the KAON factory has caused a great deal of inquiry in govern- mentand the scientific community. Some have claimed that the project was politically motivated, as the announcement of the grant came just before the B.C. election call.

The main concern has been the economic viability and integrity of the project. Many question the large $236 million commitment when Canadian universities are facing staff lay-offs, tuition increases, the obsolescence of university build- ings, and the growing lack of uni- versity student access to laborato- ries.

It has also been strongly ques- tioned whether the money being

granted to the TRIUMF expansion willbestripped from otherscientific research or so-called “small sci- ence.”

Peter Kitching, the director of the University Centre for Sub-Atomic Research and proponent of the KAON Expansion, allays these fears by saying that the contributions from the federal government have been promised to be “new money.” He feels that other scientific disci- plines will not have their existing research cut back in order to fund TRIUMF.

Kitching also believes that there is strong support for the project from other countries, especially the United States. He said that the KAON factory will attract “world class” scientists to study in Canada.

The facility will also be of use to U of A students and faculty for research. Kitching said that there are U of A students or faculty at the facility nearly every week.

However, Gordon Rostoker, a space physicistat the U of A, doesn’t necessarily agree with the proposed expansion.

Rostoker said that there is noth- ing wrong with the scientific goals of the KAON expansion, nor with the federal government grant. Heis disturbed, rather, by the possibility that the government made the de- cision to grant the money against the advice of its three advisory councils, the National Research Council, the Natural Sciences and Engineering Research Council and the Science Council of Canada.

“It appears that government acted against the advice of the ad- visory boards” said Rostoker.

Rostoker said that less glamorous projects would also have a more practical value and have more in- dustrial applications than the KAON project, at least in the short term.

“Who the hell knows if it will have a practical effect,” he said. “History will deal the cards.”

GPA lowered in Honours Math

by Juliet Williams

Students graduating from Honours Mathematics will now require a 6.5 GPA to be admitted and continue in the program.

Previously, students applying for admission also needed a6.5 GPA in the preceding winter session. How- ever, they needed a 7.0 on all math courses, and only a 6.0 on the last 30 credits of general course weight credited to a degree.

Many students in the program take mostly honours math courses, and they wereearning lower marks, said mathematics professor and Chairman of the Honours Com- mittee, Dr. G.H. Cliff. Now there will be no stipulation made about GPA necessary for math courses.

“It was simply decided by the Faculty of Science to make the re-

quirements uniform forall honours departments,” said Cliff.

Thechanges, effective in the 1992- 93 school year, will affect students seeking admission, continuing students, and those wishing to graduate with a degree in Honours Mathematics. However, the changes are not likely to have an impact on many, said Cliff.

“There are very few students in- volved in this program.”

Students who are unable to earn a degree in Honours Math may still apply fora Specialization or General Diploma.

The motion was brought forth by the Faculty of Science and was passed by the Executive Committee of the General Faculties Council in their meeting of September 28.

492-5178

Managing Editor: Stephen Notley,

The final AIDS: ‘solution

by Gabino Vidal Travassos

I hereby impose a ban on indiscriminate sex.

You now have twenty-four hours to register you and your mate with the authorities.

appropriate Those of you found coupling with unregistered partners will be neutered. : The ban will be lifted October 10, 1992. During the course of the next twelve months you will adniit yourself to a treatment facility in your area where you will be diagnosed, treated, and released, if possible. _ Several islands in the Carribean and New Zealand chains have been designated at health facilities for those people found infected with the HIV. virus. Here they will be interned and treated for the rest of their natural | lives. This is not a holiday camp. Aside from di

[teers esha oth Ambon the mate without consent you will both besterilized and placed on the Easter Islands, pavarsia: enceowe assert dee teat Aiea to enter this facility at any time, where they will be expected to hold

jobs, but, due to the rampant nature of virus there pil bosely ndalintan

a Also, anti-aphrodisiac s will be free.

" Those who do not register as a couple before October 10, midnight, may register afterwards if they can show proof of celibacy from that period Een ea ok thee eles seseeeins baat, Special svwanels wih be iene at the end of the year. You will be rewarded.

There will be an undisclosed amount of money available as a signing

bonus for those who volunteer to have their genitals removed entirely. Counselling sessions will follow. _ Itisassumed that this transitional phase will pass with the least di of life, as most people are currently monogamous, and the absence of promiscuous , friends and relatives shouldn’t be conspicuous. Do not be alarmed if those closest to you disappear.

You will be monitored.

Those of you who secretly hope that the gay community will vanish overnight may be disappointed. As a group they tend to be well-informed

+ of the threat. They’re already afraid.

If you remain coupled you will be rewarded by sexual health and security.

At the end of a year, you can change partners if you find someone suitable.

Martial law has been imposed. Be healthy. Think safe. Ignorance kills.

UNIVERSITY: OF +: ALBERTA

theGateway

Advertising 492-4241, Room 234 SUB Main Office 492-5168, Room 282 SUB FAX Number 492-4643 Mailing Address Room 259 Students' Union Building, U of A, Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7

Editor-in-Chief Paul M. Charest 492-5168 Managing Editor Stephen Notley 492-5178 News Editors Karen Unland 492-1483 Warren Ferguson 492-1483 Entertainment Editor Gabino V. Travassos 492-7052 Sports Editor Todd Saelhof 492-5068 Photo Editor Rachel Sanders 492-1482 Production Editor Allissa Gaul 492-3423 Circulation Manager Chris Fish Griwkowsky 492-5168

Advertising Manager Tom Wright 492-4241

Contributors Pam Hnytka x2 (Sorry, Pam! Really!}), Kevin Gulyets, Blaise MacMullin, Nestor Lai, Sean Costall, Martin Tucker, Carla Smithson, Steven Yi, Jack Hammer, Juliet Williams, Richard Mapa, Jason Cobb, Gargi Singh, Malcolm Thomas, JIm Gibbon, Richard Harcourt, Winson Lai, Mark Meer, Joseph Witteck, Paul Matwychuk, Michael Tolboom, Richard Choi, Rebecca Yawnghe, Andy Phillpotts, Natalie Lamarche, Brian Jorgensen, Dave Josten, Irene Kim, Randy Pavelich, Paula Kirnan, Shannon Taylor, Jason Weickert, John Bartoszewski, Isabella Varela, Matt Hays, Eamonn Muldowney, Joseph C. Lai, Ms. Terry, Kelly Arndt, Dave Ottosen, Atul Khullar, Rob Daly, Robert Chow, Dan Carle, Eddie Edwards, Jeff Lundberg, and sorry to Shannon Taylor for the mess.

All materials appearing in The Gateway are copyright and may not be used without the written permission of The Gateway. Contents of The Gateway are the responsibility of the Editor-in-Chief. All grievances should be submitted in writing to either the Editor-in- Chief, Room 282 SUB, or the Students’ Union Vice-President Internal, Room 259 SUB. All opinions signed by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway.

Letters

— eee

— —_ ant 7 Pa &

Abortion answers

While it would be fair to call the Pro-Life stance “Anti-abortion’”, it would not be fair to call the Pro- Choicestance “Pro-Abortion”. This is because virtually no one advo- cates abortions. There is a social consensus that the less women have abortions the better.

The real question is how do we go about ending abortion? Criminalizing abortion is not the

answer. We can see in the world that this does more harm than good. In Mexico, where abortion is illegal, thereare moreabortions yearly than in the USA where abortions is ille- gal. Sally Klontz calls a legal (and relatively safe) abortion “mutilated and violated”, but Ms. Klontz prob- ably hasn’t considered what a coat hanger can do to a woman’s repro- ductive tract.

The answer to abortion is educa- tion, easy access to birth control (spermicides in washrooms? Condoms aren’t enough!), and an end to sexual myths. “Cooperation and compromise” is one thing Sally Klontz has right.

Alan Howells Science I

Symbol of the Day

Square root

Mathematical notation

This rather bluntly simple sym- bol opens two important doors in

- mathematics.

The first door is the barrier be- tween rational and irrational num- bers. Certain numbers just can’t be represented as fractions, and be- cause of this some of the most basic functions of geometry become problematic. The invention of the square root sign makes it possible

to express the length of the diago-_

much, but abeolutely critical to geometry.

The second door is that alto- gether stranger one that separates real numbers from complex numbers. Try to take the square root of a negative number and you arrive at i,the mind-twisting basis of complex numbers. And complex numbers are what you need to derive those marvelous, beautiful never-ending fractal

__ nalofasquare. May notsound like equations. _

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 5

More letters

5.U. Alcohol Awareness seminar a joke

After attending the Student Union's Alcohol Awareness Semi- nar on Sunday, we have serious doubts that the Students’ Union is an effective organization that can be taken seriously. We are club executives that were representing our clubs at the seminar after being informed in a letter from the SU that if we did not attend we would not be allowed to hold licenced functions on campus this year. Knowing that a licence is a privilege and not a right, we at- tended with the expectation of being educated on our club’s re- sponsibilities. We also assumed that because we were forced to give upanentire day,something would be accomplished in getting our organizations involved in a re- sponsible campus alcohol policy or program. What resulted from this seminar was some education

on our liabilities but an even big- ger lesson was how not to runa seminar.

We have seen better seminars held by volunteer organizations on campus that were less expensive and more effective in getting re- sults. Do the Dean of Students’ Services and the SU want alcohol to be managed more effectively on campus? If yes, why was the training designed for30 people but held in a room that sat over 100 people? We suspect that the only reason we were required to attend this seminar was to reduce theSU’s and the University’s liability. Dean Mercer made it clear in his presen- tation thatif you trainserving staff, the liability for the licensee is re- duced. Is this why the seminar was held? Redirecting any chances of a civil suit is good financial manage- ment, but a seminar designed for

this purpose is short sighted and ineffective in achieving broader goals—mainly reducing alcohol related incidences on campus. We are keen to work towards this goal but feel that the SU has insulted us by requiring us to attend aseminar that achieved mostnothing given the time we invested. Are the paid staff at the SU ignorant to the value of our time and the positive contri- bution that clubs and their mem- bers provide for this campus?

We are also concerned by the apparent inefficiency of the SU made evident by this seminar. We were told by Ms. Tupper that she had to pay for the speakers that were there. Ms. Tupper got paid a salary for the time she spent orga- nizing this seminar. We have been involved in seminars put on by our clubs and have witnessed other seminars that were better run than

Feminism or faith?

On Friday, October 4th, Pamela Milne of the University of Windsor delivered a paper surveying mod- ern feminist biblical scholarship. Understandably, this topic is of keen interest to only a few, how- ever, some issues of striking im- portance for the feminist move- ment were raised.

Milne discussed how feminist biblical scholars are marginalized not only by academics, but also by the broad feminist movement. Toa certain extent, the putting aside of feminist biblical critics by feminists is justified, claims Milne. She cor- rectly pointed out that many bib- lical scholars, including the femi- nists in their ranks, belong to the religions that hold the text sacred. Because of this, many feminist crit- ics try to redeem what is seen as a hopelessly misogynistic text (par- ticularly the Old Testament, but also the new), by looking for a womans voice within it. To Milne, this search is futile. At least, or at best, the feminist biblical caller is shunned because, in a crunch, she is a Jew or Christian before a femi- nist.

However, Milne does feel that this scholarship is valuable to the feminist movement as a whole. Feminist scholars could not ignore the Bible, simply because of the tremendous influence it has had

on our culture. She sees the ulti- mate value of feminist biblical scholarship to feminismasa whole, as the development of feminist criticism to the point of being able to effectively challenge the existing canon. Nonetheless, for Milne, the fact that most feminist biblical scholars continue to support the irreconcilably misogynistic Bible, and are otherwise restricted by their faith, justifies some suspicion on the part of other feminists.

So what is she suggesting? That one can only be a true feminist if your feminism comes before your religion? This defies the very nature of faith. What does one replace her

old faith with when she becomes a -

Milnian feminist? More feminism? Anew faith that is compatible with feminism, like women’s spiritual- ity? After her lecture, I asked Milne what the solution is to the conflict between feminist politics and one’s faith. And if no one as a feminist realizes the androcentricity of her religion, and therefore gets rid of it, how does one fill this vacuum left in her life? Either we did not successfully communicate, or she dodged the question. Regardless, I received an answer to a different question and am left deeply troubled.

Howcanonejustify putting their

politics before their faith? Sure, many have done it in the past, but I, for one, cannot justify elevating matters of human interaction to levels of ultimacy, despite how important these matters are.

On the other hand, women’s spirituality can be wonderful for regaining ritual life not available to many women. However, how can a gynocentric religion be the solution to our gender problems any morethananandrocentricone?

In the last analysis, Milne’s view seems bent on exposing and tear- ing downexisting male dominated traditions regardless of what small or large kernels of wisdom might be within. This sort of philosophy seems to be founded in anger. Cer- tainly, many traditions and insti- tutions are irreconcilably misogy- nist,and contain little or no positive aspects for all people; likely these should go. However, Milne’s de- structive outlook is not my idea of feminism.

Feminism as I see it is a move- ment toward a complementary harmony between womenand men in order to become whole people. I can only hope, forall of us, that this interpretation is correct.

Chris Thrasher Science III

Health Services incompetent

I am writing this letter to the editor to complain about the recent treatment I received at University Health Services. As I have been employed part-time as a nursing assistant for eight years, I knew from first-hand experience the problems that can occur while working in a health care setting. Nonetheless, my overall impres- sion from my experience(s) at the university Health Care Services is not very favourable. SinceI needed aprescription renewed, I estimated thatevenona busy day, thisshould take no more than two hours.

Instead, from the time I saw the physician to the actual time of my obtaining the prescription from pharmacy four hours passed. One may well wonder at the inordinate time delay. The only reason I can give is lack of communication be-

tween different departments/ staff members and possible understaffing/budget cuts. After inquiring as to the whereabouts of my chart, I found that instead of being sent to the pharmacy, it was re-filed with a prescription order on the chart.

Anticipating that this could oc- cur, I asked the nurse, if I could drop off the chart to pharmacy. My offer was declined, most likely due to patient confidentiality and ad- ministrative rules.

The result was the lengthy delay in getting my prescription filled as the chart/file was not placed in its proper place. All in all, after re- viewing the situation, I would like to thank one nurse (name un- known) who looked into my situ- ation and resolved the matter speedily and efficiently with tact

and professionalism. This, I must admit, was sadly lacking in other departments on the day of the in- cident. In discussing the situation with peers and fellow students, I have found out that this is not an isolated one.

In closing, I would like to make one final statement. I know that we are all human and that working in the health care profession is not any easy job even in the best condi- tions. However, remember that in order to be considered part of a health care team, you should be working as a “team member” and as a professional. To do any less, is not only an insult to yourself, but also your profession.

Nancy McDougall AD/ED IV

this one. Why can volunteers run seminars that get that get speakers and refreshments in kind while the SU —with the huge promotion benefits it can offer companies — cannot? We assume that because the SU receives such an easy wind- fall at the beginning of the year (our Student Fees), they don’t re- quire their organizers to fundraise, spend effectively or use their

imagination. We can’t understand how people can run an organiza- tion witha mission to improve stu- dent life with such a disregard for our time, money and votes. But perhaps the SU is what many stu- dents view it as — a clique and a resume builder.

Kevin Hawksell Business IV

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Page 6 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Opinion

Kimberly Bergalisis probably the most courageous person that I know of. Why is this person de- serving of such respect? Simple. She is one of five people in the United States whois known to have been infected with AIDS by a medical worker. I don’t suppose this is a particularly remarkable phenomenon; many people are stricken with this disease and have gone unnoticed. Yet, Ms. Bergalis should be singled out because of the public stand she has taken con-

AIDS: An argument for prevention

cerning her condition. Notably, she has personally undertaken the task of getting a bill passed requiring mandatory AIDS testing for all health-care workers and selective testing for some patients. Called, appropriately enough, the Bergalis Bill, it is presently under the scru- tiny of a Senate Committee and could be up for passage within the year. It was nothing if not emotion- ally moving tosee her sitting before this committee urging senators to pass this law so that others would not havetosufferthesame fate that she has.

In plain terms, I applaud her efforts. It’s about time that the pub- licand the government realizes that

AIDSshouldbe thought of in terms of an injurious health problem rather then a civil rights issue. Of course, mandatory testing is not the say-all, end-all “magic bullet” which will putanend to this illness, butitis a stepin the right direction. Presently, prevention is the only real “cure” and it is entirely logical and appropriate that a profession which must first do no harm be the first to institute such a practice. A doctor's reputation is a small price to pay for eliminating the possi- bility of spreading AIDS in their field and wholly sympathetic with their Hippocratic philosophy. There are those who claim that thechances ofacquiring AIDS from

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a health care worker is statistically minuscule. This is undoubtedly true—however, five people have beeninfected and that’s five people too many. Why even take the smallest arithmetic chance of an- other person obtaining this afflic- tion from a medical worker?

If anything, the resolution of the AIDS issueintoa physical manifest is the first real concrete effort that I have seen which endeavours to eliminate AIDS. Sure, Hollywood stars may set up special money foundations, various clinics at- tempt to treat patients, and hospi- tals do take preventative measures suchas gloves, masks and full body suits. Nevertheless, if the public

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expects the AIDS problem to be solved, this disease must be con- sidered as a lethal illness, not a political abstraction. What better way of doing this then ascribing this possible solution into law? Itis fitting that the government ac- knowledge this issue in the only way thatitknows how: theenaction of tangible legislation.

There are people who would tell Kimberly Bergalis that she should not beso bitter because she’s dying for the civil liberties of others. To this, Ms. Bergalis would probably shake her head and maybe hate this world just a little more. And you know what? You really couldn’t blame her.

You know why.

You know where

You know who,

It's time.

The Gathering

Gateway Staff Meeting

Priddy, Oct. IT, 3:00 6.M1.

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 7

More Opinion

appreciate Mr. dela Jara’s views of the “Evolution: A Theory in Crisis” - in fact, I found myself agreeing with many of them. In- deed, the lecture was on a very basic scientific level - the lecturer himself declared it would be at a high school level - and the lack of intelligible, direct answers was indeed frustrating.

It is quite reasonable for de la Jara to object to the “entropy ar- gument” as a means of disproving evolution. However, I think that the theory of creation presented was as logical an argument as evolutionary theory. I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic by any means, and the idea that the world was once surrounded by a dense layer of water vapour, producinga greenhouse-type effect, and so ac- counting for some of the incredible life forms that once existed makes sense to me. As this layer precipi- tated to the surface - say at the same time as an asteroid crashed into earth - immense flooding oc- curred, depositing layerupon layer of sediment so easily seen all over the world in rock formations. Sounds as reasonable as a dense core unlike anything we now ob- serve blowing up and developing us by chance.

In fact, it seems to explain a few things better that evolution. Like

Hey! I got a letter:

Dear Jack Hammer,

I just had to write and tell you I really enjoyed reading your article written in the Gateway, Thursday September 26. [The one about grade school and Nazis] This article excel- lently portrays the “new breed of chil- dren” produced from our “ever changing society”.

Debra Kendall

Well, neato. Letters are always welcome, by the way. Just send ‘em to the Gateway and someone will pin-them to my head. I would especially encourage outraged letters from girls with names like Marnie, Sarah, Julia, and Elle.

But onto this week’s stuff and nonsense, which is filled with genital imagery.

Therearesome things I just won’t wear. I don’t care how popular they are, or how comfortable they are reputed to be, or how many girls go crazy for them, I just won’t wear certain things. Like boxer

Creationism, Round II

the abundance of fossils of animals which look as if they were caught in some kind of catastrophe, and the fossils that span several strata (organic matter must be buried quickly for fossilization to occur, and this would not be the case if the layers developed slowly). Of course, evolution doesn’t rule out large-scale catastrophe, but there are still unexplained fossil phe- nomena - like animals evolving hundreds of thousands of years apart found side-by-side in one layer - which throw glitches into the evolutionary theory.

Also, the real lack of evidence for the evolution of man disturbs me. Thereisn’ta whole skeletion of a pre-man found - or even enough of one to be sure thatitisn’t only an ape. What I would hope is that there could be a way to conduct a genetic analysis on one of these finds - but that’s probably impos- sible for us.

What really keeps coming to my mind isa declaration made around a hundred years ago to the effect that we knew practically all there was to know about the physical world - there were only a “few small clouds” remaining, easy puzzles to be solved. Well, one of these clouds was black box disper- sion of light, and it became a hurri- cane that wiped away the simple theories of the time and resulted in Quantum physics.

I don’t think that today we’re prepared to make such a sweeping statement about anything, includ- ing evolution with the “few small

Humour

shorts. A year or so ago everyone was apeshit over boxer shorts. So I decided to partake in the apeshittery and boughta pair. They were white with blue hieroglyph- ics on them. Cool, hey? Perhaps my loins would never be the same thereafter. Or so I thought. I tried them on witha pair of jeans, and as I pulled the jeans on the damn boxer

"Hi Jack, how are you? Happy to see me, by the looks of it. . ."

shorts got pulled up around my buttocks. Most uncomfortable. So! reckoned “I guess you wear these with baggy trousers”. I climbed into a pair of cargo pants, and that was OK. All of this made me late for my bus, and as I ran out to the bus stop, I soon discovered that boxer shorts don’t hold things in place like jockeys. Klunk, klunk,

clouds” onits horizon. As Mr. dela Jara says, “The more you learn about the processes in living or- ganisms the more awe-inspiring they become.” (Gateway /Oct8) As we gain more knowledge about the vast realm of life in and around us, our theories will be revised, discarded, reexamined - until someone happens upon a theory that truly works withall the known facts, giving them some kind of order.

Along with Mr. de la Jara, I ea- gerly await the solutions to the mysteries that surround us. How- ever, God is not found in the un- known, the incomprehensible. The truth or fallacy of evolution, or our discoveries of the keys to living organisms does not really affect the factuality of God. I see God through the things that are known to me, and I can call either the instantaneous creation of a frog or the “slow” evolution ofa frog (evo- lution is now believed to occur spasmatically - this accounts for the lack of fossils for transitional animals) a divine miracle. It fills me with awe.

Even very intelligent people can believe in God, because such belief is not an affront to intelligence. It does not mean that you have to sit back and just say, “Wow, a miracle,” and ignore the chemical processes that accounted for it. Even if evolution were proved to be accurate (by logical induction, ofcourse), there would still be some incredible timing that took place along theline, and itisjustas simple

Boxer shorts

klunk, klunk. Real nice to have a stiffie at 9:00 in the morning as you get onboard the 39. “Hi Jack, how are you? Happy to see me, by the looks of it...”

The same goes for cycling shorts, thespandex type. I’ve heard they're very comfortable, but they look as if they fit like a vice. And slippery, too. Don’t you slide off your seat? “Huff puff, almost to the top of the hill, pedal, pedal, pedal, almost there, pedal pedal oops slip BOING gaaaawwwww crash bend krumder *#@ %!son of a bi-i-tch....”

And overalls. I hate them. Why is something so farmer-ish so trendy amongst the beautiful people? They don’t wear “CAT” baseball caps or rubber boots. And how do you pee with overalls on? They don’t haveany flies. All those teeny boppers upin RATT swilling their twelfth beer of the nite will be in for a nasty surprise.

I encourage as many people as possible to walk into their nearest Eddie Bauer store and ask ina loud voice, “Hey, youse got any lederhosen?”

to to attribute such coincidences to God as to chance.

The proof of God is found in Jesus Christ. His incredible life, his death, and, most importantly his

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Entertainment Editor:

Gabino Vidal Travassos,

7052

"Hey, Tommy, the war is over. Why are you still dreaming about it?"

We think This is a

great movie, again

Angel Square starring Jeremy Radick directed by Anne Wheeler

by Gabino Vidal Travassos and Stephen Notley

(Editor's note: Yeah, well I know this ran last week already, but we jumped the gun. Ha. So here again is a review of this movie. Apologies for whomever has been discomfited, but we liked the show so we don’t mind doing it again.)

“Tt wouldn’t be Christmas until I caught the man who beat up Mr. Rosenberg.” — Tommy Doyle

World War II has just ended and your friends father has been beat up by some lumbering thug. Police are too busy. The guy’s gonna get away. You're an energetic 12-year old boy, equiped with a vivid imagi- nation, complete with color animation and black and white Casablanca vignettes. So, pick up your water-pistol and get to work.

I didn’t expect to like this. It’s a movie with kids init. Kids always grow up and make

Shikoh Kataoka, on tour with Hekisui Ooi, was in FAB Gallery this week demonstrating modern clalligraphy, which has devieoped

dramatically in the past thirty years. Of course, you'd already have known this if you'd seen my review on Tuesday, but hey, their show runs through the 20th, so be okay with it.

meaningful decisions and discover more about life in a movie than most adults know. And war movies with kids. I’ve already seen Hopeand Gloryand My Lifeasa Dog. What can a Canuck kid do for me?

Well, lots. Angel Square is a movie that is not meant solely for a younger audience. But, unlike H & G and My Life, the children aren’t excluded from enjoying the movie by cerebral text or moody themes. This film has a rabid pace that should satisfy even the most attention-deficited problem child. There is a mystery to be solved, which is challenging from the viewpoint of a twelve- year old. There’s the early morning snow- ball fights which escalate into war. And then, yes, there are french kisses.

Hmm. Another thing that makes this movie definitely Canadian is the inclusion of French Canadian actors/ characters, like Fleurette, Coco, and Michel Barrette.

Director Anne Wheeler (Bye Bye Blues) has, more than anything, truly captured the

see SQUARE p.10

Encounters series

starts with a bump

Encounter 1 Convocation Hall October 5

by Joseph C. Lai

Encounters I on Saturday night featured a world premiere of celebrated Canadian composer Violet Archer’s NorthernJourney, arobustand lively piano quartet by Johannes Brahms, and, sandwiched between the two, we had a delightful sonata for 2 pianos by Mozart and Edmonton composer Alfred Fisher’s Tour de France.

When my dear friend Dr. Wesley Crockmeister (an eccentric, enigma, and musician) noticed there was a Mozart on the program he confided to me, “I’m so sick of Mozart, that on the eve of January first, 1992, boy oh boy, I’m gonna rejoice like I’ve never rejoiced before!” However, had W.C. stayed on to listen to the Sonata in D major for 2 pi- anos, K.448 which opened the programme, he might have tolerated Mozart after all. Professors Stephane Lemelin and Helmut Brauss dove right into the opening trilled statement. Brauss sitting upright, back straight; while Lemelin with slouch shoul- ders, almost hunch back (of Notre Dame?), are studies of differing performing styles.

Yet their unique stage persona gelled into one spirited romp. The outer movements were imbued con brio, with controlled en- ergy and two virtuosos tossing back and forth Wolfgang’s humorous, giddy gestures. There was constant dialogue and imitation in the musical fabric, with thematic ideas bouncing back and forth with scampering scales (with Mozart composing mainly for the right hand, it wasa revelation to see both hands so active!!), sometimes with unex- pected chirp-like grace notes and bare alberti base-like harmonicsupport, it masqueraded as a concertino. The middle movement An- dante was played with warmth and cantabile. It was very song;like, almost arioso. This Sonata is definitely not serious stuff; with Wolfie at his prankish best, such as when he drops a deceptive cadence on you when you expect a perfect . . . well, one can only have asmirkonone’s faceand Dr. W. Crockmeister would say “it’s cute.”

Then we had the world premiere of Violet Archer’s Northern Journey for baritone and piano. This cameasa bit ofa disappointment. It’s not arresting enough on first hearing. Accompanist Diana Wiens didn’t need to practice much the piano part for it is not engaging with the voice as in traditional leider and certainly is far from demanding. This is sparse writing deployed by Archer— secco octave (often in unison) interjections, or tremolos in the lower regions of the key- board. Harold Wiens provided the recititivo passages with clear enunciation but the vo- cal lines on the whole were not really memo-

This weekend

Thursday, go to the Bronx to catch Simply Majestic, MC A Okay, and several other bands, or go to the City Media Club and see Mark Holmgren.

Friday, The Full Moon Folk Club presents Eileen McGann at the Ellerslie Rugby Club,and Les Liaisons Dangereuses at the Kaasa (from the Phoenix).

Saturday, The Edmonton Art Gallery has a series of Irish films in the afternoon. Go to the Plantto seeKing Apparatus, aska band from the East.

Monday, Dead Beat Backbone at Nighthawks.

See

rable. It is essentially a long lamentation. However, the few times when the piano does speak, and being basically in the lower register, it enhances the austerity and adds weight to the words. Unfortunately Archer’s piano tricks were a bit redundant and banal —onecan only listen to the note A alternately with grunting trills for so long before one starts counting insects on the window.

Edmontoncomposer Alfred Frisher’s Tour de France for saxophone and piano was a wel- come change after the Archer. Pianist Lemelin was joined by William Street in presenting these four transient pieces, with the third being the most extended witha sax soliliquay. Sometimes whimsical, sometimes languid or charging with crashing flourishes, both performers had a good workout. Fisher’s work is demanding on both per- formers and listeners, but this piece deserves to be heard more and often. William Street weaved his way through the extremely de- manding finger knotting passages with rela- tive ease and Lemelin’s controlled virtuos- ity complimented the task at hand (no pun intended).

After the break, it was onto the Brahms Piano Quartet in g minor Op.25 for piano, vio- lin, viola and cello. Considered to be one of the great masterpieces in the romantic chamber music literature, there is something akin to Beethoven in the tragic utterances sounded in the opening movement. After the initial piano statement, with Lemelin again at the piano, he was then joined in total agreement by cellist Tanya Prochazka, violist Michael Bowie and violinist Dianne New. This en- semble delivered a tight and close-knit per- formance; often passionate, delicate, tender, tragic and so forth. After the tragic weight of the first movement, the intermezzo was coaxed with exquisite lightness of touch from the quartet of performers; very much dolce et expressivo. Andante. In the finale, the per- formers were so caught up in the Hungarian spirit that they could’ve been tziganes. It was played with total unreserved, flamboyant abandon; scale passages scurried on the pi- ano, the three strings pizzed and acroed with urgency, racing to the end. Bravo!

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In Retrospect

Life must be ugly. Because when I took yours You lay there,

Crumpled and still

And for the first time

You were beautiful,

by Ms. Terry

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Page 10 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

And nobody wanted To stay...

... but the band played on.

Glen Stace Dinwoodie Lounge October 5

by Eamonn Muldowney

My friend and I discussed things in gen- eral as I observed the meagre crowd filing into fair Dinwoodie for its latest rock and roll fest. There was the sleazeball with his hand permanently glued to his girlfriend’s ass, the security guy faking the drums on the top of the chair, the weird and the old, and

TELEPHONE DIRECTORY

Darrin Nielsen

the usual quota of cool high school/inno- cent first year students in attendance.

As we watched this scene unfold, Dave told me, “I’ve got no fucking money for cold ones.” I wasn’t interested in lagers so we were both in agreement that the entertain- ment had to be supreme.

The opening act Blind Man’s Zoo played about 12 cover songs but I can’t be sure because I had to go to the can. The band played respectably but I had the feeling that Ihad already heard this before. Their version

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of “Jumping Jack Flash” reminded me of the warm smell of stale barf that we were standing next to. But the band played hon- estly and got the kids out on the dance floor.

Also, what’s a good campus function without the dork patrol? Some guy with a hideous red shirt walked by us the whole night, looking for someone to discuss par- ticle physics with. Unfortunately, my friend and I couldn’t help him out. And the sleazeball with his hand on his girlfriend’s ass was nowhere to be seen.

The band that the few came to see did not disappoint. Glen Stace, leading Tony Robertson on guitar, Dave “ Bonecrusher” Kilner on bass, Pat Steward on drums, and Eric “The Red” Webster on keyboards, got the stragglers on the dance floor right away. Stace encouraged the crowd to drink lots of beer so they could make up for the loss.

The band controlled the stage right from the beginning. Even the sleazeball emerged from the depths of the lounge to dance with his girlfriend. And let’s not mince words about Tony Robertson’s fiercesome guitar. He was possessed. Pat Steward had the bass drum rocking my pants but the band did suffersome technical problems. Atone point, Stace broke the string on his guitar but the rest of the band didn’t lose a beat as they made up for the lead singer’s temporary absence.

The band did suffer some technical diffi- culties. During a cover of “Run Through the Jungle”, the speakers became possessed by Satan, Steward had to fix his drum set. Meanwhile, Tony relished kicking a cup full of beer off the stage and Glen followed suit with a chilly canned one.

There wasn’t an encore because there wasn’t a crowd worthy to see it but the gig did end in a drum beating guitar humming orgasm of sound. I liked it.

It must have had aneffect on thesleazeball because I never saw him leave the lounge. Camping out for the next gig, is he?

Glen Stace ruled. If REM are the vegetar- ians of rock, these guys are dripping, soak- ing red blooded meat eaters. Don’t be loser and miss them next time they’re in town.

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SQUARED from p.9

sense of how profoundly wierd things are when you're a kid. When we see things from a kid’s point of view, it’s not some contrived adult idea of what a kid’s world is, some “gee everything’s bigger and aren’t I inno- cent and uncomprehending “ fallacy. Kids are smart, and Angel Square is the real thing, with gross visual exageration and things that would simply never occur to an adult. When you're a kid, the moment things get boring you’re out somewhere flying an X- wing fighter (or a B-52 bomber if you’re born in the thirties). Brian Doyle in Angel Square does the same thing, so at any moment the narrative could shift into some wild kid fantasy rewrite of what really happened. While Angel Square is about children, it’s utterly unforced and totally convincing, something that’s pretty damn rare (take Home

A little kid could enjoy this, but the three sample university students that saw it loved it as well.

Alone, for example). Wheeler doesn’t elicit simple nostalgia so much as she creates a strange world that we can appreciate on its own merit, and if we remember it, all the better.

“Fun for all ages” is an evil thing to say about a movie, because as a rule it means that it’s fun for about about eight ages and none of them are any higher than age ten. Nevertheless, it can be said about Angel Square with total sincerity. A little kid could enjoy this, but the three sample university students that saw it loved itas well. Itsounds like a pretty big gamble, I know, to go seea Canadian children’s film that’sa period piece to boot, but take the risk.

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The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 11

The spirit soeaks

interview by Shannon Taylor

For decades recording artists from around the globe have been turning to nature for lyrical inspiration. With the current push towards environmentalism, songwriters are taking the opportunity to push the issue out ofa solely intellectual sphere into a spiritual dimension. The Canadian group Spirit of the West is one band promoting the envi- ronme:..al cause.

The following transcripts were taken from a CJSR interview for Terradox, the station’s

environmental program. Terradox producer Shannon Taylor interviews Spirit members John Mann and Geoff Kelly.

Shannon: Spirit of the West is one of the most listened to bands on campus radio in Edmonton. One of the main reasons for this is the socially conscious messages in your music. A number of the songs on the Save This House album were dedicated to environmental causes, where did those ideas come from?

Geoff: There’s a song on Save This House called "Dirty Pool" which was directly about the EXXON Valdez oil spill off the coast of Alaska. I think we wrote about that because the news was just filled with images of all kinds of animals suffering from the oil spill, and the ramifications are still reaching us today. That was very close to our own backyard, so those are the things that I think scare you even more — when it’s close to home.

That song doesn’t beat around the bush, it sort of goes to the throat.

S: An earlier album, Tripping Up the Stairs, featured "Homelands" and the "Mists of Crofton”. Both had environmental implications but were a little subtler than "Dirty Pool”.

John: "Homelands" came about at the time Lyle Island was threatened to be logged. "Mists of Crofton" is just about Crofton Mill which is across from Salt Spring Island which is a place where we played our first profes- sional gig.

It’s a gorgeous island and you can sit out at the Vesuvius Pub, we used to take our breaks between sets and go and sit out on the deck, and you’re looking at this mill in Crofton, and it’s one of the biggest polluters in British Columbia. As Geoff said these are songs that come out of our personal reactions to what wesee around usin British Columbia.

S: It always seems easier to get involved once you see your personal life becoming affected. . .

G: Right, and I think we moved on, the song "Save This House" is a little more global in its outlook. There’s a bit of a difference in approach.

S: Because of the environmental messages in your music you've played at environmental events where you're out meeting hardcore environ- mentalists. Does that influence you in anyway?

J: Yah it does. You know we’re not biolo- gists and we’re not scientists, we’re just writing purely from an emotional point of view. You talk with people that are informed and come froma more intellectual approach, it’s good for us because it gives us facts to back up how we're feeling.

G: We're almost writing from an outsid- ers point of view and those are really the people who are right in the fray of things — finding out exactly what's going on. So it’s important for us to be around people like that. That’s are real invaluable experience.

S: One of the songs on Save This House, “Water in the Well", has stirred up different reactions. Some environmentalists feel it’s tongue in cheek and believe you are making fun of the environmental way of life, while others use it as a theme song. How was Water in the Well in- tended?

G: Well, its a bit of both. We're definitely poking fun at that sort ofalternative lifestyle, but at the same time, I think the song also shows how stimulating that lifestyle is. I know we all hope to eventually lead that kind of life. We’d love to move to the Gulf Islands and get away from the city. But I’ve been in many arguments with people about the intent of the song.

J: It was written after we'd taken a trip to a place which was colonized by draft dodgers after the Vietnam War. They’d built their owncommunity centre and we’d play there. The tongue and cheek part of the song is that we'd rent all this gear and drive up there from Vancouver, and you’d get there, and they’d say — “Well I don’t know if we can afford to pay you, but wecan put youupand give you a good feed.” And you just have to kind of laugh and say — ‘Well okay it’s our loss, but we'll have a good time.’

G: And we’ve gone back about three times. And they have this wonderful deal where the members get in for about $3 and non-members pay $10, but everyone’s a member — the whole community’s a mem- ber.

We often introduce the song as being a community where money doesn’t mean much and we never made much. That’s kind of the humour in it, but it’s not a malicious song by any means. I would defend our- selves.

S: In Canada, many writers write about the connections between the land and the soul. It's not strongly environmental, but environmental- ists say it’s important to link people to the land, as then they'll care about it more.

Even in the name Spirit of the West you're doing this. Is the link intentional?

G: The further afield we travel and play, I think the stronger our Canadian identity becomes. This sets us apart from other bands, certainly in Europe there are few Canadian groups travelling and playing about. We lean on that a fair bit. We’re very proud of the fact that we’re Canadian. We are tied to the land.

S: Taking a lookat Canadian literature, Cana- dian writers are all depressing. I can't help but look at your music — you don't have love songs — it’s all very politically minded and not very happy music. Why is that?

J: Idon’t know if I would agree with that. Dick Gaughan has this great song about people asking him why all his songs are so angry and depressing. He says all his songs are love songs. He says it’s because he’s in love with his planet. All his songs are writ- ten out of love, he cares so much that he wants other people to notice. He wants a change to happen. I guess in a sense that’s why we’re doing it too.

The song “Far Too Canadian" off the Go Figure album points out the foibles in the Canadian character. We do it because we feel Canada has tochangeand should change, because we care about the place. We all have childrenand want to makea legacy for them.

G: And I think from a song’s structural point of view that often we counter our lyrics with a very buoyant melody. That’s where the Celtic ideas come in. It’s generally an uplifting music and often we use that to counter a darker lyrical content.

S: I think that’s something that draws people to your music. No matter how depressing the idea, there is always a message of hope.

G: I think that’s true. I think "Far Too Canadian" is an example of that. At the end it breaks into a jig underneath John singing the last words. There’s a musical bit of hope, a glimmer, it’s not all we’re headed for the

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We usually try and include some of thatin our songs.

S: All of your songs are very inspiring. How do you manage to come up with the ideas?

J: It always has to be a personal thing.

G: Somebody once asked me if we just flipped through the newspaper and cut out articles for songs. I can’t remember ever having done that.

J: What? Flip through the paper?

G: No, cut out articles for song writing purposes. I occasionally flip through the paper.

S: So, do you have any thoughts on how to incorporate environmentalism into your per- sonal lives?

J: Oh my goodness.

G: Fun with recycling. The other day this kid from up the street came over to our house and he was wearing a paper garbage bag. He’d madea vest out of it. 1 thought that

J: We go over to Geoff's house, his son Ben is three, and he’ll grab something and say “Yahh, I’m gonna put this in the recycling box.” That's brilliant. A recycling box wasn’t a part of my reality until I was in my 20s.

G: I think it’s very hopeful for future generations. If you can teach children something like that then it stays with thema longtime — just the same way they learn languages very easily. If we can instill in them environmentalism, then we're off to a great start for the next generation.

Spirit of the West were interviewed for Terradox when they came through Edmonton last week to play Myer Horowitz Theatre. Terradox is Edmonton’s longest running environmental program, and you can tune in to FM88 next Wednesday at5 pm when Shannon talks with Kevin Kavanagh of the World Wildlife fund about the Alberta governments dismal environmental prac- tices.

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Page 12 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

“You want me to live here? In this dump?"

The stench is believable

The Super starring .Joe Pesci directed by Rod Daniel

by Natalie Lamarche

He’s cold. He’s arrogant. He’s mean. He’s Louie Kritski, slumlord of New York City. With his first leading role, Joe Pesci plays an unsacrificing, money hungry landlord in The Super.

Theadventure begins in the forties, witha young Kritski learning the ropes from his pop Big Lou, played by Vincent Gardinia. For a birthday gift, Louie inherits one of his father’s numerous apartment buildings to run as he wishes, as long as it’s his father’s way. Respecting his father’s methods, Kritski refuses to replace or repair any of the mul- titudes of problems. Untila determined lady lawyer witha bleeding heart appears. Young and ready to improve the world, Naomi Bensinger (Madolyn Smith Osborne) enters Louie Kritski’s life. He’s ignored every housing violation charge; she wants to nail him good for his devious money making schemes. Finally brought to court, Louie is found guilty of the charges laid, and to the surprise of the tenants, he is not going to jail. Instead: 120 days of house arrest, in one of his own apartments. Here he meets up with Tito, a thirteen year old adult, wise beyond his years about the streets, people, and life in general. Through this kid’s eyes, Louie Kritskistarts to realize that tenants are people too, and transforms from slumlord to human.

Predictable, right? That’s one of the problems with the movie. The others are basic stereotypical roles, and poor charac- terization skills on the supporting actor’s part. Pesci’s onstage girlfriend, Heather (Stacy Travis) is the typical rich blonde who is spoiled and annoying. Soannoyingin fact, her part could be entirely cut out without detriment to the movie. Let’s just say that

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From Toronto

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her appearance was, well... pointless. Be- sides, any woman in her right mind would never date a guy like Kritski anyway.

Although Pesci’s transformation during the film is a little unrealistic, his general acting ability is outstanding. He completely becomes his character; he is what every slumlord is. Experience on the Silver Screen is definitely an asset, but a true acting ability is well, shown by his Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor in Good Fellas.

Perhaps the most convincing character is played by Kenny Blank. He plays Tito, a very troubled teenager, and is fantastic. Every line is perfectly delivered, taught to him by the slightly idolized Joe Pesci. It’s his first major role, but it is not his acting debut. He also appeared in Mo’ Better Blues, Funny Farm, and a Pampers commercial at the age of three. Hopefully this multitalented kid will be appearing in other movies to come, for his potential is unbelievable.

Buta Bravo must be given to Bruce Surtees, Miles Goodeman, and Kristi Zea, Director of Photography, Musical Score, and Produc-

‘tion Designer respectively. The cinematog-

raphy was froma unique angle, proving to be dizzying at times. Both the musical score and the soundtrack will be worth buying; consisting of powerful orchestra and mod- ern dance music. The best of the three is Production Design. The apartment where filming took place actually exists, making the overflowing toilets, broken windows, cracked ceilings, and graffitied walls all the more realistic. The condition of the apart- ments are so grotesque, one could almost smell the stench of sewer water.

This movie perhaps was meant to show the world that people actually live in these conditions. It’s Heart-wrenching. Though it will most likely never receive an Academy Award nomination, The Super is a movie one can get some easy laughs on.

“The

OCT 24-

From Toronto

“Celtic Blue”

Directly behind Dentistry/Pharmacy

The melody lingers

James Keelaghan

City Media Club

(sponsored by Edmonton Folk Festival) October 6

Review by Brian Jorgensen

Itis not very often that I return home after a concert with music running through my head that absolutely refuses to be banished untilitis replaced by sleep. That was the case on Sunday night after the James Keelaghan concert. “... the eagle takes the wind, my friend, you know the eagle takes the wind...” etc. etc. etc..

My folk informer (my mom) told me after the concert that the proverbial “they” con- sider Keelaghan to be the replacement for Stan Rogers, ie. Canada’s foremost ballad- eer, or something like that. Well, I don’t know if she’s right, but he’s probably Canada’s foremost something.

The concert was a good blend of his old songs with a whole mess 0’ new ones. It’s been about two years since his last album, “Small Rebellions”, came out, so he must be about due again, methinks. And his new material is good; some of it is real good. Unfortunately, it gota much coolerreception than his standards did (songs like “Country Faire” or “Hillcrest Mine”), but then again, the crowd went absolutely apeshit crazy for some of his old songs. No competition for the new. I expect that in one or two years his (currently) new material will get the same reception. Go figure.

I last heard Keelaghan two years ago at The Folk Fest; at that time, he was playing with Bill Eaglesham (bass) and Kathy Cook (mandolin). Cook left the group right about then to pursue a university degree in music therapy, and she was replaced by Gary Bird, a dobro/ pedal steel/electric guitar player. His pedal steel addsa facet to the group that often reflects the country-folk sound that I associate with Ian Tyson. It also reflects the sound of air raid sirens at the top of “Fires of Calais”, which 1 wouldn’t associate with Ian Tyson, but that’s irrelevant. Forsome reason Bird didn’t always seem to mesh with the other two, but that might have been only because I had never heard him play with Keelaghan and Eaglesham before, and was not used to the different sound. He was sure shakin’ on the e-guitar, I have to admit.

The highlights of the night for me were the two songs “Princes of the Clouds” and “Departure Bay”. The former was a won- derful new rendition, amazingly transpar- ent, and possibly the most beautiful song

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UPON US, SO P

26

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Keeleghan in a moody file photo I’ve heard in a long while. The latter, a song about waiting in the rain for the ferry from Cowichan Bay, Vancouver Island, to De- parture Bay, Saltspring Island described al- most exactly the experience I had waiting for that ferry this summer during a Vancouver Island/Saltspring Island bike trip. Wow. Now what do “flamin’ roamin’ hogs” have to do with it?

The inter-set act was an up-and-coming native performer, Art Napoleon. He’s been working with the trio lately as they help him get ready to record a demo tape. Rough edges aside, he has a pleasant voice (similar to Tony Bird’s at times), and his promise is evident. His inclusion of Cree in his songs is certainly relevant to our natives’ current struggle to regain those things they’ve lost in past years (like their dignity), and I hope to hear more from him in the future.

Quotes of the night: “Pity about Mark, isn’t it?” -James; and “This is a song written in Cree. I still don’t have it memorized, but none of you know Cree, so who gives a damn.” -Art.

rs: The holidays are

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 13

the big vinyl garage sale

berg op |

self-titled Infidels IRS Records Canada

“Taking elements of rock, funk, r& b, and jazz, this band shapesa sound that sets them apart from the ordinary,” said the press release. Well, okay, I said, I’ll try to like this. Who knows, it could be pretty good.

After repeated listens, I was half right.

Originally known as Alta Moda, singer Molly Johnson and guitarist/ producer Norman Orenstein have decided to try a bigger market with this self titled release. Yes, ithas plenty of guitar licks and thunder- ing drums, but they sound like everyone else’s. In short, they should be called The Devout.

The album does start with the promising “100 Watt Bulb”, followed later by the r&b toned “Love It When You Smile At Me”. The sultry “Like Burning” is a good piece of pop songwriting, and “I Really Like It” is ..Well...likable. They’re well produced tracks with good arrangement and capable lyrics. Unfortunately, you have to cut througha lot of filler to get at the good stuff.

Thealbum does not breakany new ground, as the press release states. If anything, this album is a prime example of the sterility of Canadian pop music as it tries to appeal to an international audience by giving them what they’ ve already heard.So whatif Miles Copeland liked them? He’s also responsible for Animal Logic, whichisn’t exactly ground breaking either. Too bad there are so many bands in Canada like Infidels and too few like Crash Test Dummies.

They have talent, butit’s like the soul was ripped out by a digital mixer. I hope future efforts build upon the good and dangerous in- stead of the safe and steady.

Dave Johnston

winter

Baby Yello Vertigo

Listening to Yello’s “new” re- lease, Baby, could remind you of going to a neighbor’s garage sale: most of the stuff you’ve seen be- fore, but here and there are little bits that you really quite like. Only this time, it’s Yello’s garage sale. Exotic, unusual, and even a tad weird, but still a garage sale.

Influences abound on this disc, and sadly, most of them are from their previous works. The haunt- ing voice crying out, the primal

jungle rhythm, the funky techno-whatever haven't really evolved too much over the years since they were introduced. This leads toa certain staleness which can be attributed to giving us too much of a good thing. Even those likeable little bits alluded to earlier don’t break any new ground but will come in useful when doing the soundtrack to a movie. The last track on the album, Sweet Thunder, is easily the most interesting of the bunch, simmering though never quite com- ing toa boil. At the other end of the spectrum is Ocean Club, a hokey reworking of the Sam Spade/tough private dick theme.

As with other Yello albums, the produc- tion is crisp and strong. That alone may be enough for some selections to be thrown in to those 86-tunes-in-11-minutes dance-o- matic mixes. When it comes right down to it though, it’s been done before and done bet- ter. Pickany track atrandomand try to guess which album(s) it came from...could be a new way to pass the time in line at the bank machine.

Randy Pavelich

summer

Watershed G.W. McLennan Beggar’s Banquet

One of the better Aussie sounds that I’ve known were the sweet literate tunes of the Go-Betweens, who carved their niche in both the Australian and British post punk scenes during the 80’s. Although these Diggers (the nucleus of the band was Grant W. McLennan

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and Robert Forster, later additions to the group were Lindy Morrison, Robert Vickers, and Amanda Brown) recieved rave critical reviews and the acknowledgement of their peers—David Evans (“The Edge”) of U2 regarded their album “16 Lovers’ Lane” as his favourite for 1989, for example—com- mercial success eluded them. So they broke up after seven years of frustration.

Well, in the great tradition of rockers who refuse to lay downand die, Grant McLennan went on to release this solo project to great critical acclaim. And I must admit that I agree with them. McLennan’s new album is highly poetic and just as strong lyrically as his old stuff, but stylistically his new musi- calsound is more melodical and rootsy com- pared to his work with the Go-Betweens. Technology is understated on this album, and acoustic instruments are emphasised— revealing a strong pathos for Celtic and Australian folk music that gives a unique flavour to this album. But each track has it’s own distinctive seasoning, from the funky “Putting the Wheels Back On”, the rootsy “When Word Gets Around”, to the harder edged “Sally’s Revolution”. Lyrically, the album gives you heart pangs. The violins on “Broadway Bride” complement the tale of a man who loves a woman with a Marilyn Monroe syndrome, and “now her misery is his”. “Black Mule” (which features a har- monica solo by Aussie folk legend Paul Kelly) is a ballad in the best Digger tradition, and the imagery of “Haunted House” is one of those rare songs that paints a canvas with words.

Overall, this is one of the better albums I’ve heard this year—which isn’t much of a compliment mind you, considering what I’ve heard this year—but McLennan’s own words says it all about this CD: “Part of me is an adventurer, and part of me wants to refine and make a simple, beautiful, pure object.”

Andy Phillpotts

live at RATT

Spring

The Smithereens Capitol

The Smithereens were likely New Jersey's best kept secret, up until 1989’s release Smithereens II earned them their first top-40 single “A Girl Like You.”

On Blow Up the Smithereens have once again capitalized on their trademark three- cord guitar pop. Also to be found is a heavy influence drawn from the 60's. “Anywhere You Are” especially has an eerie 60's feel to it, with a haunting jazz organ playing in the background. Parts of anothersong, “Evening Dress”, sound almost as if they were taken right out of The Beatles’ songbook. However, although their music does borrow ideas from bands such as The Beatles and The Byrds, The Smithereens act as more of a tribute to these bands in contrast to, for example, the way Kingdome Come rips off Led Zeppelin (another story altogether).

As well, oneshould not expect heavy lyrics from The Smithereens. But, the fact is that this is not a lyric band, one who has a mes- sage to get across. Rather, they make party music that people can have a good time listening to. Most of the songs, not surpris- ingly, revolve around the theme of love: losing love, being in love, cheating on your loved, etc.

Blow up is, on the whole, a great album to be enjoyed by anyone into straight-ahead rock and roll. Although they have yet to receive the commercial success that they deserve, The Smithereens are one of the few bands left who believe that two guitars, a bass, and the drums are all you need to rock.

Paula Kirman

MN AB SND De AP SP I RP

Page 14 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 # The Gateway

DON'T GET WEIRD ON ME BABE

et Oo: WwW

Dont't Get Weird on me Babe Lloyd Cole Capitol

Life can be hard on 30 year old British songwriters with brooding temperments — orso Lloyd Cole would have you thinkas he moans and wails his way through Don’t Get Weird on Me Babe. If you don’t know who he is by now it’s almost certain you never will. Alas, Lloyd is one of those unfortunate souls who finds himself mired in that dreaded area of critical acclaim and relative obscurity. In other words, he might be big in Europe, but he couldn’t get arrested — much less played — in North America.

Those who've heard of Cole might re- member him from his five year stint as leader of Lloyd Cole and the Commotions — a

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“college radio” type band with lots o’ jangly guitars and harmonius vocals. They met with much success in the U.K., but Lloyd Cole nonetheless left in 1988 to embark on “the solo career.” His first solo recording — like this second one — was self-produced with help from Fred Maher (Scritti Politti, Lou Reed) and Paul Hardiman (The The). The result was a moody disc which — sur- prise! — did nothing here.

Don't Get Weird on Me Babe isn’t any sort of departure for Cole — which is good if you like him, but bad if you don’t. If you expect music to immediately reach out and grab you, stay away from this one. Lloyd Cole isn'ta formulaicwriter (good for him!), which means this tunes require some patience and time. Listen to thema few times though, and they growon you. Onsome tracks, the reverb guitar and mournful vocals reek of early Chris Isaak; while on others, the orchestra- tion resembles the slick pop style of The Style Council. The overall sound is good and createsa definite mood, ifnothing else. Stand- out songs are the witty “She’s a Girl and I’m a Man” and the lyrical “Butterfly.” Strings, harmonica and accordianare everywhere— you canjust picture Lloyd cryin’ in his Perrier at some yuppie bistro. Hey, he’s a hurtin’ kind of guy!

Isabela Varela

N

Hungry XYZ

Capitol

O

Once I saw the album I knew what to expect from XYZ, though a badly done air- brush of a big-eyed blond being caressed by a huge wolf ina saliva-covered biker jacket fits the bands message. Hungry is an album which has nothing to say, and does it with indigestible normality. All but one song is about sex, and that one happens to be about hell.

When I slapped it into my aging stereo, and leaned back to listen, I found the music

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dragging me to the fast forward. I would listen to the start of each song. These were the only parts with anything exciting about them. Even though the majority of guitar player here is stolen from other players with more talent, it was played well; and mixed with some strong drumming it made the first ten seconds of each song promising. It was when the vocals monotonously pushed their in, and the guitar becamea well-needed crutch, that these songs died.

Thevocals had noemotion (and how could they?) when the vocalist knows that he will be saying thesame thing in every other song.

This band has no character, no guts, nothing to set them apart from the other small bands out there (who probably deserve this album more than this scum). The only thing really good about this album is on the credits, where they thank “the manufactur- ers of aspirin, pain killers and wide spectrum antibiotics.” These scientists really deserve praise. Gee, I wonder if I could pawn this waste of plastic for some antacid pills. It’s worth a shot.

John Bartoszewski

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Angel Food for Thought Meryn Cadell Intrepid

Let’s get one thing clear here: I’m a guy. I drink milk from the acrton (even in other people’s homes), in the past I’ve worn the same pair of socks three days straight, and I like watching monster truck races on Sunday afternoon. Now that I have established my masculinity let me say that I think this is a damn good album.

For those of you not familiar with Meryn Cadell she’s a man-hating feminist who spends a good deal of timne mocking the male gender and society in general. The good news is that unlike a lot of the more militant feminists she uses humour to get her point across and I don’t care if you’re male, female, or somewhere in between, you'll laugh your fool head off.

Now, you're probably saying, wait a minute, a funny record about the plight of

@ females in our society? I didn’t believe it

myself until I heard the thing. Okay, sure, there are some heart-touching fluffy songs as well, and I’m even starting to like them, although if I find myself listtening to them too much I crack open beer and belch loudly — kind of helps to put things back in per- spective.

Musically the album is quite varied: from the almost dancable “The Sweater”, to the rather bizarre “Being in Love”, which even has anughty words init. Less than half of the album emplys any sort of instrument — for

| most somgs it’s strictly vocals, and, as luck

would have it, Meryn hasan excellent voice. So guys, 1 thinkit’s time weall got in touch

with our feminine sides. Go out and buy the

album, think of how it could improve rela- tions with your girlfriend. It’s nothing to be scared of, you’re not going to have thesudden urge to put ona dress oranything. However,

.. after listening to this record a few times you

may never leave the toilet seat up again. Jason “Mr. Sensitivity” Weickert

5 |. Uo Pf oe fF

Future planning: Talking trimester

Ian McCormack, V.P. (Academic)

he Students’ Union is in the midst of acting on changes to our University. My portfolio, Academic, is helping to ensure that we are set for the future, both in the long-term and the short- term. In dealing with this often unsure future, we have to try and anticipate what the University, the Administration, and the staff will do and try to act on it. The Academic area of the Students’ Union is where this anticipation has to originate. To this end, the V.P.(Academic)’s boards and committees give input into what they think the Students’ Union should be doing, and what stand it should take on certain issues.

The two most influential boards in the Academic portfolio are the Academic Affairs Board (AAB) and the Council of Faculty Associations (COFA). These groups of inter- ested students have the responsibility of telling the Students’ Union what students in general think and want from their representatives. If you would like your own input though, I would certainly encourage you. All you need to do is either attend one of the meetings listed in the Agenda section of this page, or call me at the Students’ Union offices and tell me, or another member of the Executive Committee, what you think. The input of the individual is impor- tant, because it is most helpful to get the impressions of someone who is at a distance from the situation, as they often have insight that those more involved may lack.

Trimesters anyone?

Currently on the plate of the Academic boards are a number of issues, many of which I am sure you are at least cursorily familiar with. Among these topics of discussion are:

*The perceived need, or lack thereof, of a trimester system at the U of A;

¢Whether Alberta’s colleges should be allowed to grant independent degrees, and;

¢Students’ ideas for a universal course guide in which students could see which courses other students preferred.

The trimester idea has been bantered around for some time now, but has recently gained momentum. The idea would see the U of A either greatly expand the current Spring and Summer Sessions, or create a third trimester out of the four months we now consider to be the summer break. The Board of Governors has recently undertaken to seriously consider the issue, and the University Admin- istration has begun talking openly about the seed of an idea.

The Students’ Union currently has no policy on trimesters, but needs one. The Students’ Union has a need, professionally, to take opinions out of the realm of being one person’s impression and make it an idea that is supported by the institution which is the representative body of the University’s stu- dents.

The initial discussion on trimesters took place at AAB in the last week and a revised version of the policy went to COFA on Monday and will be going back to AAB next week. The policy states that the Students’ Union is in support of expanding to three trimesters, for a number of reasons.

Essentially, the Students’ Union support for trimesters is based on the fact that students

would have much more flexibility. They could either finish their degrees in three years, if they had either the money or the inclination to go to school year round, or they could take two of the trimesters each academic year and take one off to work or travel. This would lead to flexibility in that students would have the option, within reason, to take whichever four months off they chose.

The same could be said for the academic staff of the University. Rather than having to take a sabbatical, they could, also within reason, take off which ever trimester they found most convenient. Often these staff do research over the summer and this programme would enable them to do their research whenever the time is optimal. One concern with any trimester project would be the availability of courses, especially full year ones, for the students who need them to graduate or continue their academic career.

Trimester Issues and Options: ° completion of degree in three years © holiday flexibility

* course availability

Another advantage to trimesters is in facility use. Currently, much of the University’s classroom space is underutilized in the summer. With a third trimester, this would not be the case, as students would be here year-round. Finally, the University has two options, neither terribly bad, for student enrollment. The student capacity could either be raised, or the current numbers could be maintained, but be better spread out, thus leading to less crowding. The student popula- tion issue, though, is highly dependant on government funding of the University.

The reason that I am airing this issue, and others in later columns, is that the Students’ Union Executive Committee, and by association the Boards of the SU, thinks that students can only add to our organization. The opinions, comments, criticisms or com- mendations of each person on campus are vitally important to having a well rounded Students’ Union. This campus is here because people want to learn. Without these people, you, there is no reason for the University of Alberta, or any post-secondary school, to exist. If we accept that the people here want to learn, then they may want to learn more about how their representative organization works. One way of learning is by giving us your input into what we do. The Students’

Union, like the University, exists for students, so we must respond to what you require, whether that be a service or representation. This place is yours, so feel free to tell us what your impressions are.

In the future, I will be dealing with the other issues which I outlined above.

Until that time though, please feel free to give me your perspective on them. You are also welcome to attend either AAB or COFA, both of which have meeting times listed on this page. As time and space permit, I will also be dealing with other topics of relevance to students, rather than just issues which appear and may be of limited interest to you.

All SU Meetings are usually open to any students. Call 492-4236 if you require more info.

October 10, Thursday

e External Affairs Board

5pm, Senate Chambers, Old Arts Bldg. ¢ Council of Residence Ass'ns

3pm, 606 SUB

11, Friday e Executive Committee 2pm, 259E SUB

14, Monday DAY OFF!

15, Tuesday e Executive , 2pm, 259E SUB ¢ Housing and Transportation Commission 6pm, 036 SUB e Administration Board 7:00p.m. Rm. 606 SUB. Review of the year-to-date variances of all S.U. departments. Final report on the liquidation of SU Records presented (this portion open to Admin. Board members and Councillors only). e Academic Affairs Board Review of trimester policy proposal Look at new MCAT preparation seminar proposal

16, Wednesday

17, Thursday

e Annual General Meeting of FACRA 7:00p.m. Rm. 2-115 Education. Meeting of FACRA (The governing board of CJSR- all S.U. members may speak and vote) and The Friends of CJSR (the fundraising wing of the station- must be a Friends member to vote; membership $5) Reports from outgoing board members will be tabled. Nomination and election of officers to sit on the two boards taken. Resolutions to be discusssed could seriously affect the programming policy and revenue-generating ability of FM88. Therefore, any student interested in the station or the safeguarding of the $65,000 debt CJSR owes to the S.U. should attend this meeting. Call Alex Ross, V.P. Finance, for more details.

‘xp; Celebrity Kickoff —. October 18, 1991

Half time: Golden Bears Football Game vs. Manitoba Bisons

Support the United Way ONECAUSE Campaign or the UofA Green and Gold Athletic Society: — se

Celebrity Kickers: President Paul Davenport Student Union President Marc Dumouchel CFL Record Setter Dave Cutler Golden Bears Kicker John Cutler

Presidents Davenport and Dumouchel will kick for the United Way; the Cutlers for the Green and Gold Athletic Society.

Winning Team: Combined best distance kicked x dollars per yard + total lump sum sponsorship

Sports Editor:

Todd Saelhof,

492-5068

Bears to tackle tough Dinos

Green and Gold football heads south for gridiron Battle of Alberta

stories by Dan Carle The last time these two schools met it was not the most pleasurable of sights - thatis, if you werea fan of the Golden Bears’ football team. ~The University of Alberta hosted the University of Calgary on Sep-

and with a 40.0 yard punting aver- age, Bears’ punter Scott McKenzie isable to give the special teams time to set up and close off return lanes.

The Bears offence, while putting up its best statistical effort against UBC, will also have to counter

Golden Bears vs Dinosaurs . 1:30 p.m. Saturday, October 12 McMahon Stadium Calgary 1:20 p.m. CJSR FM-88

tember 13 in a game which was dominated, much of the time, by the Dinosaurs. The final score was in the Dinosaurs’ favor, 31-6.

The Bears hope that the tide will turn in their favor as the two teams meet Saturday afternoon, 1:30 p.m., at McMahon Stadium in Calgary.

“They have an experienced of- fensive line... .. the runningback (Craig Kittleson) has tremendous speed and ability. ... They are very explosive offensively,” said Bears’ head coach Tom Wilkinson, adding that the Bears must be at the top of their game Saturday for the club to win its third straight game.

“We have to improve in all as- pects, and especially offensively, and if everyone just does their own job, then we have a chance to win,” he said.

During the first meeting between the two teams, Dinosaurs halfback Kittleson rushed for 188 yards, and the Dinosaurs’ offence finished the night with315 yards on the ground.

Bears’ middle linebacker Grant Jongejan states that stopping the Calgary running game is a big key for the Bears to have success.

“(Kittleson) is probably one of the two top backs in the league,” Jongejan said. “I don’t think we played very well against him last time, and he did a hell of a job.”

_The Bears’ defence and special teams heading into the game are solid. Against the University of British Columbia last Saturday, the Bears had four quarterback sacks,

Track

by Eddie Edwards

Ted King, the University of Alberta Golden Bears and Pandas Track and Field coach, is leaving for new and exciting ventures in Montreal. King takes on the position of head coach at Videotron Track and Field Club.

“The reasons for leaving are very positive,” King said.

The athletes he will be coaching there are truly stellar. Bruny Surin, national record holder in the 100 metre run, Edrick Floreal, Canada’s best triple jumper, and Atlee Mahorn, World Champs’ 200m bronze medalist in Tokyo will make King a prominent figure on

Calgary's attack by putting some points on the board of its own. And now that the Bears have settled ona starting quarterback in Robert Tay- lor, the offence is beginning to feel more comfortable according to Bears slotback Jason Duxbury.

“At the beginning of the season, it was pretty scrambled,” Duxbury said. “But as the weeks go on, the offence is getting a little bit better.”

As the Canada West Conference has tightened up - each school in the conference has lost at least two games-Saturday’s winner will raise its record to 3-3, and still be in the hunt for a playoff berth.

So far, the Bears are 2-3, as are the Dinosaurs. Each school is coming off uplifting wins, and each school would like nothing better than to beat the other.

IN THE HUDDLE: For his ef- forts last week against the Univer- sity of Saskatchewan, Kittleson is the CIAU player of the week. ... .After the Bears beat the two num- ber one teams in the the CIAU in two consecutive weeks, this week’s number one team is not in the Canada West. The St. Mary’s Hus- kies are the top of the roost for the time being. .... Lyndon Wrobel, a back-up linebacker with the Bears, has left the team. Wrobel said he was not contributing as much as he would have liked, and did not want his negative attitude to spread to the rest of the players. Wrobel was in his fifth year with the team when he turned in his jersey.

For some players, it may aks

matterthatthisSaturday'suniver- 5 f ia : you ar i AC fete

and Calgary willbe televised on_ pl s , meen He know tt af

The Sports Network. —

Then again, many players in the contest may not be as far away

g berg native ole Beauce Que bec, looks at the annual match-up

in Calgary as a chance for his fam-

ily and friends to see him perform. “I know my friends have TSN, and they will make sure to tell me they saw me,” Perronsaid. __ “It is pretty nice to play (in Calgary) because (in the stands)

Ing to coach

Canada’s national athletics’ scene.

King says that the athletes sought to have him in Montreal so that they could train at home. He had been coaching them for some time over the phone.

Despite some occasionally rocky experiences, including the financial instability of the teams, King says he leaves the University of Alberta with good memories. After three years, King leaves behinda program that is growing. At the CIAU championships last year, the Bears’ and Pandas’ teams finished fifth and seventh respectively with only 12 athletes.

King stresses the importance of

the university’s track and field teams. There’s a high drop-out rate in track and field amongst athletes of the ages 18 to 19. The program is the most common sense vehicle for athletes to continue their athletics and their education.

King feels that there are enough outstanding individuals, students and members of the community, who will make the program a suc- cess once he leaves.

A replacement for Ted King will be named by Athletics Alberta, the Athletic Department, and the Alberta Sport Council by Decem- ber 1. The season will kick into gear in January. In the interim, Rick

iar faces will a So

‘Enrolled in his fourth year at the FaculteSt.-Jean-heoriginallycame th we are a lot better, we just know

west to become bilingual - Perron has played four years with the Golden Bears. He says that of all games, the annual clash with Calgary i is the most enjoyable.

The § is also important as

both club’s currently hold identical 2-3 recordsand are vying sfora play-

off berth.

- “Webelievein ourselves, thatis the main thing. . . . .I don’t think

how to win, and I think that will make all of the difference.” While there is already enough

motivation in the players to play their best against Calgary, for

Christian Perron the i nce

‘is made greater by those who will

watch him play.

anadian stars

Chamney is serving as an adminis- trative assistant to take care of pa- perwork. Technically speaking, the new coach will have big shoes to fill.

“As faras I’mconcerned you need someone strong technically and someone who can handle the ad- ministrative duties,” Chamney said. “If that combination is available and someone is willing to work for the salary offered, then the teams will be in capable hands.”

Last year’s President of the Uni- versity Athletic Board feels that the horizon is bright for the men’s and women’s teams.

The Golden Bears will see the

return of CIAU triple jump cham- pion and Pan Am Games competi- tor Oral Ogilvie, Canada West 60 meter champion Ian Danney, and the agile middle distance runner James Aldridge. Could a national championship be in the big picture?

The Pandas will miss the contri- butions of CIAU long jump record holder Jane Cox and sprinter Sherry Heschuk, but triple jumper Tara Parker and distance runner Barb Stewart will be leading the team this year.

When the gun goes, the Univer- sity of Alberta track and field teams could very well breeze their way past their competitors.

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 17

Mike Frisby, the third year bas- ketball player for the Golden Bears, is being moved into a new, but all too familiar position this season.

With the departure of post player Rick Stanley (who decided to quit the team last month and concentrate on academics in the hopes of graduating in April), Frisby is now pencilled in to play at post.

The funny thing is, he is not the first Mike Frisby to suit up for the Golden Bears, or play post.

A Mike Frisby - same spelling, too - played post for the Golden Bears from 1971-74, and in his three years with the Green and

Gold, lit the league on fire.

The word on the “old” Mike Frisby was that he was tall, lanky and could down rebounds faster than it would take to say, “What, Stanley quit!”

Frisby had the most total re- bounds (156) in 1971-72, was third in average scoring the year after, and third in overall rebounding the season after that.

Frisby’s (the old one) old coach was Barry Mitchelson, who is now a professor in the Faculty of Physi- cal Education. Mitchelson coached the Bears from 1967-76 and says that the old beanpole was some kind of player in his day.

“He certainly influenced our

style of play a lot. Mike was a very good rebounder, a good percent- age shooter within ten feet... .. .but he gave us a dimension that any coach loved to have,” Mitchelson said, adding that Frisby is still in the old coach’s memory.

“Someone today with his skill and size would beanimpact player, just like he was then.”

As a result of sharing the same name, the “new” Frisby has double pressure facing him this season.

There is the pressure to relearn the position at a higher level. - Frisby played post in high school butnotin university. And pressure because the old guard around this school will remember the old boy,

The shadow of Mike Frisby

and how he commanded the floor.

Ina school rich with history and tradition that could be a tall order to live up to.

Still, the 1991 Frisby looks for- ward to the coming season.

“I really look forward to the challenge. It keeps you going and keeps you excited. New challenges is what life is all about. ....I[ havea size disadvantage in this league, but I also have an outside game that I have developed (playing forward, his old position).”

The strange twist to this story is that the twoarerelated. That's right, they are second cousins.

In fact, the younger Frisby was babysat by the older as a child.

“My dad was talking to Mikea couple of weeks ago, saying Mike is going after your records. . .. .it gives me an opportunity to change some of those records from Mike Frisby to Michael.

“I guess if I was six foot nine, then it would be different,” said the junior Frisby. “I mean we are two different players. We just happen to share the same name.”

Whether or not the younger Frisby actually breaks any of Mike Frisby’s old records this seasonis of no consequence.

The younger Frisby’s presence as an integral part of the Bears in 1991-92 is proof that champions are born, not made.

MINUTE WARNING

The pledge forms are out, the kickoff is on. The October 18, 1991 Golden Bear football game will feature a halftime show with some kick to it. It’s the Celebrity Kickoff to benefit both the United Way and the Green and Gold Foundation.

In between halves of the Manitoba Bison-Golden Bear clash, four celebrities will put the boot to the ball to raise some cash for both organizations. For the Green and Gold, the two kickers will be cur- rent Bear booter John Cutler, and father Dave,aCFLlegend and now assistant coach with the Alberta football squad. On the United Way side are two key political campus figures, Students’ Union President Marc Dumonchel and University of Alberta President Paul Daven-

rt.

Each will kick three times with the everyone’s best used to calcu- late the number of dollars raised.

Pledge sheets are out and about the campus, so keep the eyes peeled, or head to Athletics (P120 Van Vliet Centre). Sign up for a good cause and catch the game and the exciting Celebrity Kickoff.

Clarke features free student night

For those not intending on mak- ing it to the Bison-Bear battle. Think again because all bearing a valid 1991-92 University of Alberta stu- dent identification card will be admitted free into Clarke Stadium.

Support the Bears by being there. And enjoyakey Canada West clash that features two teams who will be vying for a post-season posi- tion. After all, it will be a free and

fun evening.

Panda-Alumni hoop match

Another fun evening goes to- morrow night in the Main Gym. The Panda basketball team for the 1991-92 year dives into an exhibi- tion match against the Panda Alumni squad.

Theannualaffair gets underway

Cultlers, Presidents in dollar kickoff

at 7:30 p.m. and promises to pro- vide some exciting hoop action.

Bear-Alumni hoop match

Hoopaction also gets going with the Bears in the near future. The guys take on the Bear Alumni squad at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, October 19. It kicks off the season for the basketball Bears.

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Page 18 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Player Profile: Panda Sian Davies

Davies stickhandled her way to three weekend goals at the Canada West Conference Tournament #2 here in Edmonton. For that, she received Panda Athlete-of-the-Week honors.

Delivery MAB-S5-55

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Nestor Lai

by Rob Daly

Few people realize how rough a game field hockey can be. The ball is an unforgiving chunk of rubber which makes a vicious “thud” whenithits a virtually unprotected leg, and it’s not uncommon toseea ball deflect into a player's face. Yet die-hard players like Sian Davies seem to thrive on close quarters, hard work, and inherent risk.

Thecombination was recognized this week as Sian received Panda Athlete-of-the-Week honors. This fourth year Panda veteran admires the same work-ethic in her, favorite sports figure.

“Treally admire Craig MacTavish and the way healwayscomes ready to play,” said Sian in an interview following a recent game.

As she answers, she furtively wipes at a bloody nose.

This enthusiastic leader is in her final year of Economics, hoping next year to study International

Relations, but her first love is her sport and her team. Sian’s predic- tions for the team are hopeful.

“I’m expecting that we’ll get better as a team as the year progresses,” Sian said.

Although she has high hopes for the future, Sian has had many bright spots in her past years as a Panda.

“My best memory would have to be last year when we hosted the CIAU’s, because we played amaz- ingly well.as a team. We came in sixth, but still we were close in every game against some pretty stiff competition.”

Unfortunately, her least memo- rable moment came in the same tournament.

“I was playing in one of the games, and my skirt fell off in the middle of the field, and I was only wearing underwear at the time. It was pretty embarrassing.”

Sian sometimes goes by the

nickname “Fanny” although she denies that this has anything to de with the incident. Apart from un- comfortable memories of lost clothing, she has few complaints with university life.

“You really get to meet a lot of people, which I enjoy, but I wish that they would get outand suppor! theirsportson campus more. I don’t mean just field hockey, but all the different sports.”

When not studying or practic- ing, "Fanny” enjoys trail riding on her mountain bike and listening tc all sorts of different music. You also might see her in the stands al a rugby contest, although you won’ tcatch hernoshing a chocolate bar.

“Tcan’tstand chocolate. It makes me nauseous.”

While chocolate might slow Sian Davies down, itseems unlikely thai much else will, especially a little rubber ball.

By the time you read this the Championship Series of the Na- tional League and the American League will be well under way. However, there is still plenty of time to predict who will be the champion after the dust settles.

The National League:

No question here. The Braves, led on with the tomahawk attack will chop the arrogant, overcon- fident Pirates into tiny little pieces. Bonilla and Bonds do not

stand a chance against the fero- cious batting of Pendleton, and the thunderbolt arm of Glavine. Otis Nixon will be stomping the base paths, while bench support will come from Prime Time Deion Sanders. Atlanta came from last to first in their division and de-

serve a World Series appearance. Pittsburgh already has the Stanley Cup. They do not need any more to be proud of. Plus, I hate the name “Pirates,” and their ridiculous col- ors.

The American League:

The Jays all the way. They have the team, and they have the Dome. So what if they lost the first game. Candiotti is a weak pitcher, and could be trouble down the road. Minnesota has Hrbekand Gladden and my personal favourite, Kirby Puckett. A great team, but this year belongs to the Jays. Each game of the series will be close, but the boys from the Hype capital of Canada will prevail in six or seven games. The homer hankies will be drenched with tears.

Fearless World Series’ predictions

The World Series:

The Series will be as fantastic as the 1986 World Series. The end result will be the Blue Jays storming onto the field of Skydome. Toronto needs this because even with Rocket Ismail, the Argos will not win the Grey Cup, and even with Grant Fuhr, the Leafs will still finish last, or second last.

The grand old game will shift North, but the real heroes in the eyes of the American media will be the Atlanta Braves. The Jays will get little coverage, while the Braves will be saluted as being champions in their own realm, overcoming turmoil, and getting a trip to the White House to be greeted by George Bush.

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The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 19

Flames leap to too of NHL smythe

Penguins to challenge as repeat Cup contenders in 1991-92

by Jeff Lundberg WALES CONFERENCE

Adams Division

Montreal Canadiens: The Habs won't score much or dazzle you with their ability to backcheck, but with Patrick between the pipes three goals will win a lot of games. Buffalo Sabres: With all this talent, watch Muckler’s expertise take effect as coach Rick

Dudley ( or his replacement) get fans at the Aud talking Cup.

Boston Bruins: Kevin Stevens was needed to replace the injured Cam Neely, and without a big scoring threat watch for the Bruins to barely stay out of Mediocreville.

Hartford Whalers: Is it me or is Hartford one of the most boring, stagnant sports' teams on the globe? Watch out Whale, here come the Nords to end your perennial lock on fourth.

Quebec Nordiques: The Nords will knock on fourth place’s door, but they area year away

from stealing a page from the Atlanta Braves’ playbook.

Patrick Division

Pittsburgh Penguins: A healthy Mario anda solid Barrasso will make Pittsburgh the best

in the conference.

New York Rangers: Roger Nielson’s crew should make a “Mess” of the Patrick, but a lack of scoring punch with the loss of Sheppard and Nicholls keep them behind Pens.

New Jersey Devils: The Joisey Devils have added scoring (Richer) and defence (Stevens), but still lack coaching and cohesion.

Philadelphia Flyers: A healthy Ron “Hacks"-tall and good seasons from Ricci and Tocchet

the Rocket should lead the Flyers back to the playoffs.

Washington Capitals: No scoring. Lack of offence. Did I mention no scoring? New York Islanders: Another dismal season for fans on the Isle especially if Pat Lafontaine

is dealt for some young guys.

CAMPBELL CONFERENCE

Smythe Division

to compete with Flames.

goal.

Calgary Flames: With a year under his belt, Risebrough should lead the most talented team in hockey to #1 overall. Los Angeles Kings: The Wayne and Jari show goes to Hollywood, but Kings lack depth

Edmonton Oilers: Birth of a new dynasty? I doubt it, but hustle and youthful exuber- ance (not to mention the Sharks) should help the Ollers win as many as they lose.

Vancouver Canucks: Goaltending is strong, Nedved and Linden are improved, so watch for the Canuckleheads to snatch fourth.

Winnipeg Jets: Name five Jets. 1 knew you couldn’t. Jets weak everywhere except in

San Jose Sharks: They will win a lot of fights, but not many games. Heart and determination not enough for this untalented team.

Norris Division

“Hull and Oates” will not sing the Blues.

playoff run have the Stars shining.

Chicago Blackhawks: Adolf Keenan’s regime only has question marks in goal, but the Hawks will still get 100 points. St. Louis Blues: Loss of Stevens, Courtnall, Momesso, and Featherstone will hurt, but

Minnesota North. Stars: Good vets, strong goaltending and confidence from a great

Toronto Maple Leafs: Fuhr should be enough to get them into the playoffs, but the great scorers in the Norris will put the hurt onthe Leaf’s brutal blueliners.

Detroit Red Wings: Stevie Y. and Fedorov will take flight again, but the rest of the Wings will flutter until they beef up on defence and find a solid tender.

Mess key to N.Y, drought

by Dave Ottosen CAMPBELL CONFERENCE

Smythe Division

Los Angeles Kings: The addi- - tions of Kurri and Huddy keep a rapidly aging teamin first place. In a stronger division, they’re a third place team at best.

Edmonton Oilers: Young legs and great goaltending put the Oilers ahead of the underachieving Flames.

Calgary Flames: Inexperience behind the bench and an old front line drags the Flames down to third. They could go higher if rookie goalie Trevor Kidd steps up quickly.

Winnipeg Jets: Poor chemistry and a lack of leadership had the trade winds calling for Wendel Clark, but the deal fell through. This team needs immediate results.

San Jose Sharks: This team has already upset Calgary, and rookie Pat Falloon looks like he was built to play in the Smythe. The Sharks will have more bite than some ex- pect this season.

Vancouver Canucks: Youthand

inexperienced goaltending put the Canucks at the bottom of a divi- sion filled with teams either on the way up, or headed downwards.

Norris Division

Minnesota North Stars: With goalie Jon Casey and speedy for- ward Mike Modano getting better, coach Gainey pulls this team to the top with his winning spirit. Un- fortunately, they'd better win it all soon, because the Sharks took their future.

Chicago Black Hawks: Not many people think Belfour can re- peat his dream season, so the Hawks are weak in net. Past his-

tory has Keenan wearing out his welcome with his abrasive style after two or three years. However, Roenick is too talented to let this team fall far.

St Louis Blues: The loss of their captain Scott Stevens to the Devils really hurts the Blues in their weakest area - defence. Another shortcoming of the Blues is an abundance of goalies better suited to a back-up role. Hull and Oates can carry this team to third, but not much higher.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Fuhr alone brings this team out of the cellar, and is already the best goaltender in the division. When Glenn Anderson returns, he’ll have to fill a hole left by the injury to Wendel Clark.

Detroit Red Wings: Poor coaching and goaltending in De- troit will drop them out of the playoff picture. In a league where depth at center is rarer than ami- cable contract negotiations, the Dead Things have two of the best - ON THE SAME LINE! The ru- mored trade of Carson for Sean Burke would help immensely.

WALES CONFERENCE Adams Division

Boston Bruins: The emergence of Ken Hodge Jr as a young star, combined with superb defence (see Ray Bourque), gives the Bruins the nod in the worst division in hockey. If they get Lafontaine, they run away with it.

Montreal Canadiens: By de- fault, the Habs hold off their charging neighbors and keep sec- ond place. Muller and Roy will be the keys to this team.

Quebec Nordiques: Sakic, Sundin, Nolan, Kamensky, Lindros(?), Tugnutt. The list of

great young players compiled by the Nordiques will scare any op- ponent. If defenseman Brian Fogarty can overcome personal problems, this team could go even higher.

Buffalo Sabres: Amazing how last season’s trade with Winnipeg turned both teams into under- achieving losers. Center Pierre Turgeon needs to show he can dominate in this league.

Hartford Whalers: Cullen and Zalapski form a great nucleus, but youcan’t win without goaltending, and the Whalers have none.

Patrick Division

NewYorkRangers: Goaltending, offensive defensemen, and Mark Messier could end the Stanley Cup drought in Manhattan.

Pittsburgh Penguins: The only problem with the Penguins is that they can’t be sure of what kind of performance they’Il get from Super Mario or spotty goalie Tom Barrasso.

New Jersey Devils: Stephane Richer is setting the league on fire in the early days, and the Devils have solid goaltending. If they get Jimmy Carson, this team could do even better.

Philadelphia Flyers: Another team that can’t rely on consistent performance from it’s goalie. Even so, Tocchet and Hextall will win them enough games to make the playoffs.

New York Islanders: Lafontaine is going, and if the Isles don’t get a quality goalie in the trade, sixth is a distinct possibility.

Washington Capitals: In all honesty, I can’t even name the Capitals’ goalie, so they are in BIG trouble. When journeyman Dino Ciccarelli is expected to be the of- fensive leader, it’s last place time.

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SONS OF FREEDOM

OCTOBER

Page 20 ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 # The Gateway

Now that the NHL season hasstarted in full earnest, here’s some predictions for the year:

- Inhis shrewdest move ever, Glen Sather trades Peter and Eva Pocklington to Los Angeles for Bruce McNall and his houseboy.

-DonCherry releases a video of all his Hockey Night in Canada tirades. It'll be called The Wrath of Grapes (pretty good one, eh?)

- Kevin Lowe requests a new roll of hockey tape. Infuriated, Glen Sather trades him instead.

- To bolster their power play, the L.A. Kings give Kelly Hrudey a hockey stick and let him play the point. Tom Webster is quoted as saying,

“Five forwards just ain’t enough on a powerplay.”

- An Oiler will have a kid out of wedlock (this one’s easy to pre- dict).

- With both men in a drunken stupor, John Shortand Rod Phillips slug it out on the air. To the delight of millions, both of them get in- jured.

- This sentence brought to you by Bobby’s Sports Cards.

-Ottawa drops out of therunning to become the NHL’s newest fran- chise. In desperation, the league chooses it’s newest team to be the Charleston Chiefs.

- The Oiler’s trade Joey Moss for one of Jerry’s kids. “We're going with youth this year,” Sather said.

- I’m gonna bomb my Mechani- cal Engineering 571 mid-term. (This has nothing to do with hockey, but it’s one prediction that I’m sure is going to come true.)

- Wishful Thinking Department: San Jose’s Cow Palace (nice name, guys) sinks into the ocean.

- In order to appeal to more women, the NHL decides to havea female version L.A.’s “Kings”. Calgary is the overwhelming fa- vorite to be christened the “Queens” (at least until San Fran- cisco gets a team).

- The Philadelphia Flyers select Phillies’ outfielder Lenny Dykstra as their honorary Zamboni driver. He later wraps it around a tele- phone pole. (Who didn’t see that

Tne NHL in "91-92

one coming?)

- Eric Lindros is spotted work- ing at his new job. “This sure beats playing in Quebec,” he says. “Er. . .for fifty cents more, you can get a large.”

-To help curb his drug problem, Bob Probert is subject to random underwear checks by the Red Wings’ nurse. The other players protest, demanding the same treatment. (Hey, they can’t all be gems!)

- John Ziegler finally secures a television contract with an Ameri- can Network: PBS. Alistair Cooke hosts a segment called “Master- piece Bench Brawls”.

- In his last shift of the regular season, Ranger tough guy Tie Domi

beats Dave Schultz’s NHL record for most penalty minutes in a season. He does this by jumping into the stands. It isn’t until later that he realizes that it’s a home game. “Boy, is my face red,” he later says.

- The Oilers bring up junior playerJason Cook. The nextday, the scoring summary reads: “Cook/Ing/Rice”.

-Grant Fuhr becomes the new spokesman for Coke. Columbians start watching hockey.

- The Oilers will have traded Moog, Coffey, Gretzky, Kurri, Fuhr, Anderson, Smith, Messier.

. . Naaa, no one’s gonna believe that.

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by Kelly Arndt CAMPBELL CONFERENCE

Smythe Division

Los Angeles Kings: The L.A. Oil- Kings! Wayne and Jari reunited - what more can I say.

Calgary Flames: Strong, but Isee internal problems with contracts and players being unhappy.

Edmonton Oilers: Young and inconsistent, but it will be exciting to learn all of the players’ names and numbers.

Vancouver Canucks: Courtnall and Linden on offence with Dr. Gregg to patch up the defence goa long way to make Vancouver steadier.

Winnipeg Jets: Not a very fuel efficient team.

San Jose Sharks: Can’t imagine a winning team that boasts tempo- rary home as the ‘Cow Palace’.

Norris Division St. Louis Blues: If Hull keeps

popping them in... Chicago Black Hawks: How

Ings number one

long will the team tolerate the coach with the bad attitude?

Detroit Red Wings: Stevie Wonder got cut at Canada Cup, but he hasn’t lost his touch. With him flying, the Wings will stay airborne.

Toronto Maple Leafs: I feel sorry for this team and cannot put them in last place. Let’s go for 30 wins.

Minnesota Stars: With expan- sion some of the Stars were de- voured by the Sharks. I don’t think Norm Green can buy enough pol- ish to brighten his team.

WALES CONFERENCE Patrick Division

Pittsburgh Penguins: They have experience; they have the Cup.

New York Rangers: They were strong last year and now with Messier and Graves they have in- tensity and leadership.

Washington Capitals: They will be much better than the Flyers and the Islanders.

New Jersey Devils: Hotter than

hell, but they'll cool off down the stretch drive.

Philadelphia Flyers: Doesn't it seem that if their players aren’t injured, they are suspended?

New York Islanders: What players do they have?

Adams Division

Montreal Canadiens: The Canadiens are always strong, their fans wouldn't tolerate a poor team. And with Molson footing the bill, they can afford to have a good team.

Boston Bruins: Like the Canadiens, they have strong tra- dition. Even with Neely’s injury they will continue the winning tradition. Of course no team but them can play well in the Garden.

Buffalo Sabres: They needed Muckler to sharpen their snipers’ blades.

Quebec Nordiques: A good young team that can do without a certain spoiled youngster.

Hartford Whalers: The Whalers will be going along for the ride this year.

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ul 431-6817

The Gateway ¢ Thursday October 10, 1991 ¢ Page 21

Quick, call McDonalds.

There’s a brand new product ripe for the market that should fit ever so perfectly into Rotten Ronnie’s menu. Direct from the National Hockey League, a real show stopper - Marty McChicken.

This King-size nauseous treat features a California filleted brainless chicken _ breast, smothered in hot brown sauce, and sandwiched between two thick slices of hard-to-swallow. . . . .Well, let’s just put it this way, it’s making most hockey

somebody

Flames

by Atul Khullar CAMPBELL CONFERENCE

Smythe Division

Calgary Flames: Deeper than Roesanne Barr's waist, power play scarier than Suter’s face. MacInnis slaps way to 110 pts. Niewuendyk won't. Vernon flops to 30 wins.

Los Angeles Kings: Offence more dangerous than Calvin and Hobbes in a explosives’ factory. Opposing goalies would rather havea spinal tap than face theGretz line. Brick-like tending by Hrudey.

Edmonton Oilers: Serious speed, not much else. Good trade with T.O., bad with N.Y. Ranford willspend the year making himself look better by throwing himself on each shot like it was a waterbed.

Winnipeg Jets: The Bugs Bunny of the NHL, a tall and skinny team. Slick offense with the rebounding Olcyzk,a defensivecorps thatcould out score San Jose’s top two lines with Housley and Clausson. Steen and Essensa key for the Jets.

Vancouver Canucks: Could surprise. How good are Courtnall and Ronning? Lindenand Maclean will rebound, but team weak on the blue line. May make playoffs, but then again they have Quinn and 21 losing seasons to their credit.

San Jose Sharks: At least the Sharks will have one damn good brawl video to watch in April. Falloon, Mullen only real snipers. Tough defence but can Hayward really play well in the nets? Hey guys,Snoopy’s still availible, has a mean streak and he’s only 41!

Norris Division

St. Louis Blues: So damn good with Hull & Oates that even the arbitrator hates 'em. Will runaway if Riendeau-Joseph tandem comes up big. GM Caron must have hit it big in Vegas as the binge of free agents show, but getting senileand making dumb trades.

Chicago Blackhawks: Better sign Belfour, need a backup goalie. Roenick-Larmer 1-2 punch com- parable to Mike Tyson’s except the Chicago duo has a double digit IQ.

connoisseurs sick to their stomach. And it’s not difficult to understand why.

Over his career, the L.A. King in question, Marty McSorley, has held ongoing wars with various NHL tough guys. It’s a fact that his demolition ability has beena strong spot for both the Oilers and Kings. In recent years, however, the so- called heavyweight has changed his aim toa more sickening style of stick. No longer does McSorley use his brawn. Instead, he leads with his brains. Not exactly a high con- tent item where McChicken is concerned.

TO fire-U

Chelios and Smith impressive tandem. Manson traded so Keenan doesn’t end up in a 6x6 plot. Minnesota North Stars: Don’t break too many limbs jumping off the bandwagon guys. Defence suspect even with Tinordi. Bellows, Gagner and especially Modano going to cause serious havoc. Still, this team is faster than the Sports Illustrated swimsuit girls. Toronto Maple Leafs: Fuhr alone could have got them this high in the standings,(no, not that way.) Anderson too old. Marois and Leeman will rebound. Clark gifted, but about as reliable as a Ford. Detroit Red Wings: Federov overrated, sell Upper Deck card. Yzerman could single-handedly lift team into playoffs. Needs help from Gallant, Racine, and Probert, who should stay away from Fuhr.

Adams Division

Boston Bruins: Look weak, but team finds more ways to win than Cherry has ugly jackets. Fine puck- stopping duo, led by Moog helped by stalwart crew of blueliners. Janney dekes and dodges team to compete until Neely’s return.

Montreal Canadiens: Goal to- tals rival Blue Jay playoff wins, but no need as Roy is approaching im- mortality. Young rearguards like Schenider have promise. Team is as tough as a two week old steak with Corson and Captain Kirk.

Buffalo Sabres: Defence solid but getting decrepid. Potentially powerful offence, Hawerchuk hasn’t bought the farm yet, will Puppa and Turgeon rebound? Or, will Mogilny invest in copious amounts of Gravol for road trips?

Quebec Nordiques: More first rounders than Liz Taylor has wed- ding rings. Defence a hole, espe- cially if Fogarty discovers that Dry beer has noaftertaste. Sakic, Sundin will make for a lot of 8-8 ties.

Hartford Whalers: The Cleve- land Indians of hockey, all their players look to the heavens and ask “Why me?” Cullen and Verbeek must be having fun fish- ing so why bother playing hockey? Mediocre blue liners and a void at

Last season, the King of Couth couldn’t keep his hands off of the Flames’ Theo Fleury. Whether he finds him cute or not, I’m not quite sure. But one thing is for certain, chasing around the NHL’s small- est guy to pound the punch out of him isn’t exactly a class move.

Maybe, that’s why Marty graduated into a higher weight division. That’s right, early on in the 91-92 campaign, consensus from the Marty man is that the Oilers’ Martin Gelinas is the ap- propriate target.

On Tuesday evening, McSorley left the gloves onand instead opted

Marty McChicken

for his best weapon to flatten all 180 pounds of Oiler talent. What came next was againa tribute to his King of Couth style of stupidity. Without regard for injury, McSorley repeatedly cross-checked Gelinas across the lower back sending him careening head first into the boards. And with referee Bill McCreary a non-existent entity in reference to King rough play throughout the game, McSorley did his time and resurfaced later to again deal some more stick to Gelinas. This time, he graciously waited until after the final buzzer before introducing his Easton to

points galore

goalie aren’t going to help, either. Patrick Division

Pittsburgh Penguins: Firepower comparable to a H-bomb. Lemieux fora full season will add to torture inflicted inIgloo. Mediocre defence and tending but capable of getting revved up when necessary. Recchi like cyanide pill, little but deadly.

New Jersey Devils: Swindled Montreal for Richer, given Stevens on a platter, McVie has a bigger mouth than Mick Jagger (one gets that way in the Patrick). Terreri to shine between the pipes.

New York Rangers: Meet the Flames East, ‘cept Leetch and Co. choke in March not April. Messier to help, but question is health. Wingers Gartner and Ogrodnick need carbon datings to find out actual age. Richter deserves better.

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Washington Capitals: A team more boring than Canucks, as if that was possible, Impressive back- doormen, with Hatcher and Iafrate. Team to hit hard and with Beaupre should make playoffs.

Philadelphia Flyers: A talented team hit by the pacifist movement. Great seasons by Hextall, Ricci, Duschene, and Brind’ Amour and Paul Holmgren’s haircuts may just put Philly in the playoffs.

New York Islanders: Al Arbour must be asking for a premature death. A team stocked with could- be’s like Volek and Norton. Only Lafontaine and Fitzpatrick and Sharks prevent Islanders from picking first next June.

CAN YOU

the Oiler jersey.

Asan Edmonton Oiler, Marty McSorley used to somewhat of class act. Aside from the Mike Bullard post-season shish-ka- bob a few years back, McSorley was a_ likeable dukester. In other words, he tagged only those players who measured up to his stature. Now, as a mem- ber of King Wayne's court, he appears to more like the jester. In fact, let’s just say McSorley’s the joke of the NHL. And that ain’t no laughing matter.

Oh yeah, before I forget... . All hail Marty McChicken!

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CDs $14.12, tapes $7.24, any title, with purchase of $20 coupon book. International Music Club. Call Stuart 426-6187.

Laptop computer, 2 drives, great for w/p. Call Scott 436-9583.

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Word processing. West-end, Callingwood area. 24- hr service. Phone 487-9086.

Wordprocessing for term papers and reports - $1.50 - $2.25 depending on format. Resumes prepared for $25.00. All lazer printed. Executive plus 448-9696.

You provide content - I'll provide correctness! A retired English teacher will edit/type papers, theses, dissertations. Experienced APA style. Quick turn- around. Call 428-6605.

Need help with English literature/composition courses, term papers, editorial expertise? Contact Dr. Felix, expert university instructor, internationally published biographer. 483-9308 message care 492- 4588.

Professional educator / writer available for: tutoring students in literary arts subjects, editing term papers, writing resumes. Ph 487-9991, Mr. D. Mannes, BEd. M.Ed.

Editorial and word processing services. Familiar with APA and MLA styles. Call Patricia Craig at 492-5837 or 452-3109.

Professional 24 hr typing/word processing. Laser printing, APA, thesis, transparencies, scanning. “Panic” jobs welcome! Garneau area - 1 block from U of A hospital. 433-1681.

Desktop publishing studio-typesetting, photocopy- ing, laser printing, word processing, computer rental. #218, 11 Fairway Drive, Westbrook Shopping Centre (119 St & 38 Ave.). 438-9445. The Electronic Scribe.

Lose or gain weight now! Use Cellular Nutrition, Aloe Drink and Florafibre. Call now! 491-8290.

Word processing: term papers, etc. Familiar with APA. $2.50 per d/s page. 142 st/ Yellowhead Trail. Donna 454-1393.

PERSONALS

Pregnant and distressed? Free confidential help/ pregnancy tests. Campus Birthright 492-2115. Rm 030W, SUB. Mon & Wed 10:00 - 1:00, Tues & Thurs 11:00 - 12:30

Canadian Federation of University Women - Edmonton. Bursaries for mature students with fi- nancial need. Applications: Student Finance Aid, 302G Students Union Building. Deadline: October 25, 1991.

Are you feeling: sad, troubled, lonely, friendless, confused, suicidal. Having problems with parents, drugs, alcohol, friends, pregnancy, sexuality, divorce, etc, Call Telecare Telephone Hotline at 426-5159 4pm to midnite 7 days/week. Free confidential listening.

Students! Students! Students! Come in to Calgary Trail Earls on Thursday nights for Student Night.

Edmonton Harbin Friendship Society. Alberta Heilongjiang Tenth Anniversary Luncheon. Noon, October 24th at Victoria Composite School. Guests: Heilongjiang Government Delegation. Tickets till October 22nd at International Centre (HUB).

FOOTNOTES

International Folk Dancing. Fridays 8-10:30 pm. Room W-14 Van Vliet Centre. Everyone welcome.

Lutheran Campus Ministry: Worship, Sun., 7:30 pm, St. Joseph’s College Chapel - $2.50 Tues Supper & Program, Lutheran Student Centre (11122 - 86 Ave.). “Table Talk,” Wed noon hour, Rm 158A SUB. Mid- Week Eucharist, Thurs, 7:30 pm., Lutheran Student Centre. More info 492-4513.

U of AGo Club: Play and learn Go Wednesdays 7:00 pm, SUB L’Express Lounge. (Starts Sept. 18)

Tae Kwon Do Club: beginners, men & women, all ages 6:30-9pm. Mon & Fri. in SUB bsmt, Wed. in E-19 Phys-Ed. bldg. Phone 472-0872.

Uof A Juggling Club. General Meeting in Quad. All welcome to come and learn to juggle. Friday After- noons 2-5.

Debate Club: meets every Wed 5 pm in 2-42 Humani- ties. New members welcome.

Uof A Star Trek Club. Bo knows Star Trek. See us at 620 SUB.

Uof A Pro-Choice. General meetings first Tuesday of every month 3:30 pm - SUB 606. Office: SUB 614 (hours on door).

Campus Crusade for Christ: Meetings Thursday at 5:00 in the Kiva Room, Ed North second floor.

Keep-fit yoga club offers health and relaxation pro- grams throughout the year, For information please phone Carol: 471-2989 (evenings).

TNT Toastmasters. Get the edge and improve your public speaking. Tuesdays 7:00 - 8:45 pm. Call Bill - 455-9463.

Anglican Chaplaincy. Eucharist 8:30 am Thursdays, Meditation Room SUB 158A.

Campus Presbyterian Community. Come and eat your lunch in this free space and have a chat with Chaplain Pauline Grant and/or with others. Every Wednesday 12:00 - 1:30, Room 169, HUB Interna- tional Centre (Ground floor, below A&W). Phone 492-7524. ;

The Orthodox Christian Fellowship meets every Tuesday at 5:00 pm in the Interfaith Chapel in HUB for faith, fun and fellowship. Come and see! For more information call Bill: 435-3049 or 987-4833.

Baptist Student Ministries, Faith Works! Weekly bible study on the Book of James. Tues 12:30 Rm 169 HUB (ground floor below A&W). Ph. Mel 492-7504 for info.

Baptist Student Ministries. Focus: special speakers, music, friendship. Mondays @ 5pm, Rm 169 HUB (ground floor below A&W). Everyone welcome. Ph Mel 492-7504 for weekly topics & information.

Uof APC club. Open executive meetings Wednes- day @ 4:00 in TB 87. Everyone welcome.

Did Patrick Swayze lie where he said skydiving is: “100% pure adrenaline.”? Find out for yourself. U of A Skydivers 030F SUB.

Gays and Lesbians on Campus (GALOC). Discus- sion Groupsevery Tuesday @5 pm. Heritage Lounge, Athabasca Hall.

Gays and Lesbians on Campus (GALOC) GALOC is moving!! New office in Rm 030S SUB. Come see us Mondays 1-2:30/ Thursday 11-12:30.

Ukranian Students’ Society: Our office is in 030E SUB. Drop by - we'd like to meet you! Pobachemo!

UofA Table Tennis Club: Wed and Fri 7:00- 10:00 pm, at Nurses Gym. 83Ave-114St (Across from UA Emer- gency) Phone 463-3078

Assoc. For Environmental Concerns Today. Tues- days 5pm, L’Express Overflow, SUB. Everyone wel-

come! Or drop in 030U SUB.

Living Faith Christian Centre. Experience the life! Living Faith Christian Centre welcomes you Sun- days 10:30am at McKennon Community League, 114 St & 78 ave. For information on other meetings call 435-8631.

U of A Cycling Tourist. New office: 306 SUB base- ment. Come down and see us about mountain biking trips, or touring trips for next summer.

Phantasy Gamers Club. Adventure! Excitement! Psy- chosis! Take a break from reality! Join the Phantasy Gamers Club in 030N.

United Church Campus Ministry: United Church Worship every Monday morning 8:00. The Medita- tion Room 158A SUB.

United Church Campus Ministry: United Church Students’ Potluck Dinner and Study Hall. St. Stephen's College 5:30-9:00 Monday evenings.

THREE LINES FREE

1 off 69: It would be a joy, if the boy wouldn't be coy. I need a response. KA.

To3 gorgeous gingi Sansui, Soapie and Nooper, find yourselves some studs (limit of 3 CAs please) and come to Reggaefest! - Atomic Annie

Miss "R": To the "elegant" woman who took my breath away. Would like to meet you. Reply to "Red Robin".

To the tall blonde w/ crew cut in GEOL 201. I want to meet you. Look 4 me and the Drunk Monkey at Deweys, Noon Friday.

Cereal killer: What can we do? What are we gonna do? There's a fire in our hearth and it's burning for me and you. Scaboo.

Tiffany: Sat. nite I asked for ph# at Confetti’s. Didn't getit-Ireceived mixed signals. Can I get itnow or did I lose to Hollywood? Confused.

Have you seen our 3 imaginary friends? Last known location: at a blue table in CAB. Answering to the names oif : Bob, George and Abdul.

KK#71 Met you last St. Pat's Day. Are you eligible? RSVP here. B.

Mix Match girls volleyball. ANN I watched you from above, sorry you lost Oct 7. I would like to meet you. Respond here. I in the sky.

Carrie once of Whitecourt now of Lister we met at SORSE on Aug 31. I would like to meet you again. How about the 15th at 5:00 at SUB E-entrance-Mike.

Bernadette: Want to talk horses? Haven't seen you since Bookstore. Noon in FA Lounge? Rob.

Dean?? Ex-GMCC Pool Shark. I met you only once before. What would it take to meet you once more? Bashful. :

Mr. Slick with the walking stick: Saw you at TL11 (MWF 10:55). Wanna say hi but just too shy. Inter- ested? Available? - Intrigued.

Matt: Always thinking of you... cliff jumping, lake parties, coilers, beer, sex, keeping it wide... Welcome home. CB

To my tall, dark, handsome Serb. Just thought I'd mention, you've captured my attention. So, how long must I wait, to be asked for a date?

Shannon!? Remember Friday night? I forgot your number! Down then up?? I've got to see you again. - 3K Kayaker

Lots of hugs, kises to Laurel, Andrea, Neil for a great

holiday. Special thanks to O'Sullivan clan, Elaine, Mark, "Rog”. Love Rurs.

Buchy Buchy! To my Irish Cream - Thanks for keep- ing me so warm all Friday night! Your Small Fart.

Hey Tiger Kitten, My spanking gloves are better than yours - well maybe not, let's schedule a lab to find out.

Barb's a goof.

Michael - Won't work - I'm left handed, but open to other suggestions - Sarah

Sarah: Alright, southpaw - How's about a friendly game of “hide the banana”? - Michael

To the Compound Men: You owe us fries!! The Pow Chicks - RSVP

Spellbound - There's more than one babe with a fluorescent Soloman backpack!! Could you be more specific? - Possibly

Jill was offered dinner; Jill didn't call back; who wants Jill's dinner? Reply here or at our office. New Skydivers’ Prez.

To Scott; who sits by the back stairs in the Health Sciences Library. Want to play doctor? Trivia gal.

YENOM EM EVIG

Vito the Geek, I will hunt you down!!! Here

To #68 Interested. I'm kinda shy but I'd still like to meet you and do things to you. Lusty

Pucker up Diana and stop dancing so close Eva. Signed Crazy Serb and the Nervous Pizzano.

FK. Haven't seen you around CAB lately. It's my turn to buy the cookies.- The Textbook Lender

Batman and Candymonster, don't buy sweets becausegambling money can become expensive. Let's see who's butt is boney! Hairdo & God.

Math 214 MWF 9:00. To the cute redhaired guy who sits on the left: You make a dull class more bearable. Are you single? Astro Girl

To Hay River Jan, the PT Wu-Man/ Do you run for fun?/ From the Edsun Mun.

AF - Yo, Porcine Person! Nice eyes! - Guess

The Ingus Femme: Where'd you get your name - an oven? - Coffee Not.

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only please)

turned in PHONE #, and ID# erably on T 2-3 or F 12, Rm 238 (to Allissa, or who don't

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